Several Thoughts

Lately, I've had several thoughts that I haven't been able to distill into a blog. So I thought I'd stream them out and see if something shows up. Maybe it will end up a jumble of independent ideas.

The first was about stubbornness. I was struck that this may be at the root of much of our ills. It started when I was thinking and praying about a person I know and my offer to help them. But they'd probably never let me know even though they are obviously distressed quite a bit. This is very common among people. We don't want to be a burden, we feel we should be able to handle it. We are afraid, lazy, make excuses, doubt their genuineness, etc. I'm the same. So as I was contemplating what to do about it, if anything, it hit me that it was really perhaps just plain stubbornness. We want things to go differently, someone offers to help, and we insist that it must go differently in a different way. What else is this but stubbornness. I am very obstinate myself sometimes, so I wondered how many good things I've missed, how many pains I've endured unnecessarily simply because I didn't or wouldn't take the help that was offered. Of course the other side of this is that we can be too moochy, but I'm not talking about that extreme.

Next, I was struck at a different time recently with the image of emptying a cup to fill it. I don't even remember where the image came from, but I've seen it used in various places. We want things in our life. Things we can't get for ourselves for whatever reason. These are things we pray for if that is our bent. Even if we deny God, we often want him to do things nonetheless...but that's a different discussion. Suffice to say that many of us pray and pray for things and they never happen. But I have experienced many times that as soon as I give something of myself, there is provision waiting right then and there in perhaps another area altogether that I have been seeking. So, the image of the cup. The Bible says that it will be filled to the brim. If this is true, there would be no room for more. It would only be in pouring some out that more could be added. I am reminded of a great illustration once that I saw in which two men stood on a stage with a bag of seed and poured it into a cup. The speaker was frantically running around trying to find people to take the seed so he could keep catching more. The faster he ran the more kept coming from the huge sack. But when he stopped running, the flow slowed and stopped. It was an exponential reaction to what appeared an arithmetic problem. And it stuck in my brain.

I've also recently encountered, at every turn it seems, the concept of giving up oneself or life. Not bits and pieces, but entirely. This is a two part thing, the way it happens and the message itself. I've noticed this a lot in my life. And whether it is that my mind is just set to cue in on a certain message, or that the message actually occurs before me in greater frequency, the effect is the same and the difference is moot. Both would be equally supernatural. I've learned to listen closer when this happens and try to understand. It doesn't take much, the message is usually beat over my head. People complain that God doesn't speak clearly...but he does. Impeccably clearly. They just don't understand his language. They also don't understand his economy and ecology. The God of the universe set it to work in a certain way. From that consistency we can learn much about him. One of the things I've learned is that he is supremely efficient. There is no waste. Each person living out their own personal story, designed entirely to bring them to the place of truth and understanding. There is no randomness. There is no luck, no chance. Therefore, it makes perfect sense that God would use this method to speak to us. It fits his nature to orchestrate in beautifully complex yet paradoxically simple ways. If we have ears to hear it.

So back to the message itself, this time it has been about letting go. About giving up life, dreams, safety, security, everything, for the truth we seek. We don't do this. I don't do this. This message is for me. Certainly it is for others as well, but that is their story not mine, so I won't speak to it now. I mentioned before that I was told this was the year of my death, and this message fits a bit too neatly. It has been bombarding me. Obviously I'm not ready for what is coming yet, but I can feel it approaching. The crazy thing is I'm looking so forward to it, whatever it is! It resonates deep down inside me. Like this thing I knew all along I was built for is coming...call it destiny. I just can't wait until that is manifest in whatever way that will be, I know it will be the fulfillment of everything I've hoped for.

Which leads to me last thought. How can I think this? How can I be excited about something so utterly unknown and potentially dangerous? Have I no self-preservation? Do I have a death-wish? Believe me, the little lawyer in my head attacks every nook and chink in this constantly. But what steadies me is that I know I am not alone. There are so many people throughout history and still today who think like this. Some can't articulate it. Others express it differently. This is what it means to be a Christian. To follow Christ. It is a strange mystical thing that happens. I know there is all kinds of crap and festoonings around what we call Christianity. But down in it, those of us who know, know. It's illogical, it's not even sane by the usual definitions. But there is some deep, primal, soul-pulling, dancing, screaming, crying, laughing thing that goes crazy inside at the very inkling, the very hope of moving closer to the object of this devotion and nothing, nothing, nothing can swerve it, compare to it, or stand in the way of it. It's beyond life as we know it. It's supra-life, supra-natural. This is Christianity. If you know it as something else, keep looking cause you haven't found it yet.

Joy

Looking back over the past few posts, I have realized they are quite heavy. I tend to be a bit dark by nature, so that is not strange for me. I can accept that about myself, but I also recognize that where some people may be in need of some gravity, I must consciously find levity.

I have been told that my personality in writing is vastly different than my attitude in person. This is not strange among writers either. Writing is a way to tap into and express things that can't be expressed well in other means. I am actually more suspicious of 'posery' (to coin a term) when someone is one way through and through. We are full of so many attitudes and emotions, to be totally dominated by one thing does not seem natural.

So, this post is an attempt to think gravely about light things...there's a Navajo concept!

There are many kinds of simple graces, or blessings in life. Sometimes we are so caught up in them that we do not realize them. We can all think of those Hallmark moments and they have their place...but I won't delve into that sap. Rather, have you ever felt an inexplicable joy rise up inside you? Sometimes it is triggered by an event, but not the ordinary happiness from circumstance. I mean the real, crazy, deep bubbling over type of joy that can't be contained! It is simple in that there are no parts or angles. It is simply joy. This is what our poor worship leaders strive for in their various styles every Sunday, but very often have to fake because it just can't be achieved on cue.

Of course there is the very mystical kind of joy that comes at seemingly random moments. But there is also a joy very nearly like it that comes when we are operating in our place...filling that spot for which we were made. This doesn't have to do with a vocation necessarily, but can come with an activity. This joy feels like God smiling and cheering on us to go and do, like He is there doing it with us and we are experiencing the full exhilaration of God in that moment.

The truth is, He is there with us and we are feeling His exhilaration. Our infinite God has made us all to express a unique portion of Himself. In that way He loves us all uniquely and completely. When we do what it is that we are made for, we can't help but be caught up in that cosmic elation for the thing.

I know that I feel this kind of joy in several places. One is wilderness. When out beyond human things and hanging on my wits and God's grace...at times literally...I feel alive and full, and God is palpably present with me. When swimming, I also feel this. As the water slides by and wraps around me gliding through my skin and hair, I am at one with the water and God is closer to me than the liquid that surrounds me. And when dancing to the raucous joyful music that I love so much, not in a polite behaved way, but in the full-out violent way of King David himself, I am also whole.

Sadly, knowing these instances so well, I find every obstacle in this world climbing up between me and them. Gee, I wonder why that is? It's almost like someone doesn't want me to experience them...hmmm.

What's your joy? Do you do it often? Don't lose it.

Authority and Submission

Wow, this could be a big topic. But I'll try to keep to the point. I have a huge problem with authority. I much more naturally go for the DIY. The thing is, I'm not afraid to do the work myself so that I don't have to rely on the authority alone. Call it a Berean thing. I'm just not going to take your word for it.

But there are some things we can't work out on our own. Some things we just can't know...at least not now, given the knowledge and experience we have at the moment. And there are some things that we have to take on authority. The key to authority though, is trust. That's why I have a problem with human authority. People are fallible. Sometimes we are forced to accept human authority, and I can do this. I don't like beating my head against the wall.

But then there's God's authority and that is a whole different animal. Today, I heard someone talking on the radio about this very thing. In this case there is no fallibility. His authority is not conferred, and therefore can't be questioned. It is what it is. A good deal of being a Christian is coming to understand just how true this is. As the teacher was saying on the radio, how many of us only want to recognize the nice Jesus. Few of us ever want to think about the Lord of lords Jesus. The Captain of the Host. The Master of the elements. The one before whom even rebellious demons bow and obey. Even if we acknowledge this God, we don't often think of what that means for us. This same fierce magnanimous absolute Ruler is our very Ruler. Our Master. This is what being a Christian means. We have enlisted. Accepted that role. Taken our place under His authority. Submitted. So when He tells us to go, we should go. When He tells us to wait, we should wait. And when He tells us to trust, or change, or endure so we should. Regardless of feeling, regardless of ability. When that very same power and authority that spun the universe into motion and knows the path of every quark and particle, the one that routs armies and defeats death, turns His eye on us, how much more should we comply like plastic putty to His will! Especially when that same mouth that erupts flaming power and thunder bends low to kiss us gently and those blazing hands stroke our head lovingly.

In the love and devotion that we feel for our Lover let us never forget that this same is Brighter than any star, hotter than any flame, sharper than any sword, fiercer than any warrior, and is capable of obliterating us as if we never were with the merest inkling. Thank God, His love is as deep as His power is absolute. Fear it, embrace it, tremble in it, and submit to it. In this undoing of the self before such devastating power we are remade in the form that He wishes us to take. Abandon to it and find all that was missing! When He commands my soul, even I can't stand in my way.

Space

I had in mind when I created this blog that it would not be a teaching or preaching sort of thing. That it would contain contemplations only, for others to read, evaluate, comment on, and to color their own worlds. To that end I didn't want to post things I had already worked out in my own mind, but only things that were currently passing through.

However, it recently occured to me through a variety of circumstances that if two people start talking about abstractions (like ideas) from vastly different perspectives, they may in fact understand very little of what each other means. So, it would be necessary for them to provide a bit of background to see "where he's coming from". To that end, I may periodically post a few things that most people haven't ever really engaged. These things are pretty much worked out in my own head through long consideration, but so influence my outlook that they may make my often cryptic postings a bit more understandable.

So regarding space...as in the universe...the stuff, or absence thereof, that we live in. Scientists have spent years describing space. Trying to define it, model it, so that we can grasp it. This is useful in many of our technological advancements. And, as with most things on this order of thinking, it blurs into philosophy. It has even crossed into popular culture in many scifi kind of ways, though it usually gets perverted for purposes of the story. A good example is the concept of wormholes. If you read, you might be familiar with a very famous series of books involving tesseracts. These books were also heavily steeped in these 'shape of space' concepts.

So what does space look like? It is considered that space is not actually flat, but wrinkled, like a crumpled ball of paper. If we were a tiny microorganism that could only move across the surface of that paper, in fact so flat that we were effectively 2D, the paper would appear to be exceedingly flat, since our measurements would not be scaled large enough, nor could they pass into the necessary dimensions to picture it as it was. From that perspective, moving from one point to another would require crawling along the surface of the paper. If the paper was 10cm wide, then it would be a 10cm trek to get to the other side. From our perspective out here in 3D, one side of the paper may actually be very close to the other side in 3 dimensional space because it's all crumpled up. If the 2D bug could only jump through the void to the other fold, his trip might be exceedingly shorter.

Now translate this to our world. Measured in three dimensions, space appears immense. But if it is actually folded up in other dimensions, then things that can move through those other dimensions might appear to disappear and reappear in another location, maybe vastly far from the origin. Scientists report seeing quantum particles do this!

Of course this leads to all kinds of Trekkie, Star Gatey notions about space and time travel, but stay with me. (Carl Sagan did an excellent bit on this next portion, which I highly recommend watching online, since it has visuals that I am asking you to imagine in this format.) So let's think about one more dimension above ours...the 4th. Contrary to popular belief, this is not time. Dimensions are squares of the next previous...think back to geometry. A point has no dimensions, but if we string them together we get a line. Now if we square length and graph it, we get width...now we have 2 dimensions (a box). Square that and graph, and we get 3 (a cube). Square 3 and graph and we get 4. But here's the difficulty. We exist in three dimensions, so we can't show a fourth dimension...where would we put it? But for purposes of thinking about it, we can project a 4D object into 3D, like we can draw a cube (3D) on paper (2D). When we do that, we get what is called a tesseract. It's like a picture of a 4D object drawn in 3D. It looks like a cube inside a cube, and if you rotate it across the 4th axis, it passes through itself...Of course it doesn't actually, it just appears to do so in our 3D picture, just like a 2D drawing of a cube appears to have edges passing through other edges, though in reality they don't.

If you're lost at this point, go to Youtube and look up Carl Sagan's thing on 4D and come back. It's short. Ok, done that?...Let's move on.

So, just as Sagan said, a 2D creature, our little bug, would not be able to conceive of a 3D world. If we tried to communicate with it, all it would see of us is a series of flat shapes, like the apple print. Similarly, if the 2D critter were swept up into 3D it would be incomprehensible to him and he might decribe it in a variety of odd ways that would sound more or less insane. Translate that to 3D, and you might imagine some people who have tried to explain wierd phenomena and end up sounding insane. Think of Ezekiel and the whirring wheels. What is that about!? But he isn't alone. There are countless accounts of these sort of ecstatic (ex-stasis, out of the normal state[of existence]) experiences and all are very similar.

So are these things just trips of human psychology? Manifestations of chemical phenomena upon our brains? Materialists think so. But if we believe (as I argue must be the case) that there is an existence greater than what we see in the everyday world, then these accounts would certainly seem to fit the bill. Am I saying that God is really a multidimensional alien? No, far from it. But if He is truly God, He must be multidimensional, and that stands to reason that there may be created beings that exist in more dimensions than we. These beings, if operating in our world, may appear or disappear suddenly as they intersect our dimension, or project something from beyond our dimension...like emmanating light. Could it be that what we call Angels (which really just means 'messenger') are beings existing in dimensions beyond our 3?

Could it further stand to reason that if we were taken up into these other dimensions they may appear to us as incomprehensible and we might babble a bit trying to equate what we have experienced into words that only work in lesser dimensions?

I'm not trying to make theological statements here. I'm simply describing a way to think about these things that lets me make as much sense of it as my brain can handle. This model seems to work pretty well. Of course, I would caution everyone not to stop at this point. By orthodox definition, God is so far above our understanding that anything we can concieve to model Him is necessarily less than He is. So, don't fall off into wierd New Agey stuff. Stick to orthodox understandings. They have the weight of history and the large community of consent to back them up. Without that anchor, you are adrift in treacherous seas. These ideas have been treated numerous times in history, you just have to get past the latest fads and dig into the older stuff...most of which was written in the middle ages...hardly "Dark", any experienced scholar can tell you that was a time of fabulous philosophical and natural learning.

So if this stuff is real, ancient philosophy and modern science confirm it, but can't be described coherantly, then how can we know what is valid from lunacy, fantasy, or lies? That too has been addressed! There are whole treatises on assessing and confirming true "religious experience" (to use the church language) on various levels. Just look it up and you'll see. The internet is a wonderful resource for this kind of stuff as long as you use authoritative sources and resist the urge to self-diagnose. In addition, many modern sources have adapted the older concepts up into our langauge, making it far easier to understand. The first step is understanding the terminology used. Contemplation, Mysticism, Ecstacy, etc. Get a good dictionary (again, online)and look at the old meanings too.

I'm certainly not the only one who thinks these things. Obviously Sagan does. CS Lewis certainly does. These are just two sources of many. As you begin to investigate this as I have, and still do, you will also begin to see that science and religion blur into each other. In fact the conflict is mostly perceived rather than actual. Faith, correctly understood, is perfectly rational. Science, if true, will point to reality, which is God. But this is a whole other discussion that I do not have time for on this blog.

One last point on the subject. Many will inevitably say that other traditions outside Christianity also demonstrate similar experiences. How can one claim supremacy? I can't tell you which is superior. I could give you all my reasons and you would still have to come to that decision on your own. Seek and you will find. But I can at least save you some time and elliminate the common mistake of using similar experience to justify universalism (all ways lead to God) by drawing on one of my greatest teachers, CS Lewis. There are only so many ways that a ship can depart a port. Though the departures may all look alike, the seas they sail and their destinations may be quite different. Take it from this ancient mariner; there truly are far fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world.