Friday, November 16, 2018

God in the toilet

So I live in a part of the world where some toilets don't have seats...we refer to them as squatters, which tells you what you need to know.  So I went into the only toilet in my workplace and thought, "oh crap!" Literally, someone had missed.  Not terribly, but enough to be very apparent.  I was wracked about what to do.  This is the only toilet for men.  If someone comes in and sees me leave, they'll assume I did it because I'm foreign and people assume we can't do this stuff right.

Maybe I could slip out quickly before anyone noticed, but if they came in and waited, I'd be screwed.  If that happens, I'd have to point it out and say it wasn't me, which would look the more suspicious, so I'd be forced into an uncomfortable examination of the evidence to prove it wasn't me..."it isn't fresh, see".  But then it might be worse if they just saw me leave because then I'd not be able to explain at all and they'd just assume, and there would be this background buzz that I could never be certain wasn't because they thought I was foul or incompetent...or incontinent, as the case may be.  Even if it was just in my own head, I'd continually be wondering if that wasn't what they were thinking.  And the culprit would certainly not downplay the assumption that it was the foreigner, if he didn't actively promote it, should it come up...or down as it were.

Maybe I could climb out the window and slip back in another way...but no, the office windows looked out on the same courtyard right beside that window along with other windows all around the court, and the foreigner climbing out the window would definitely be noticed.  So that was out.

Cleaning products were in the closet right beside me, but again, what if someone came in and saw me digging through that closet...I'd be forced to explain, and there we go back into scenario 1.

All of this of course happened in milliseconds.  That was when I looked around and noticed there was a toilet brush in the stall...why?...who cares!  It was there!  God bless it and God bless me, I was saved by a common $1.00 toilet brush!  I fired up the flush and scrub that thing like my life depended on it...well at least my reputation...which was already in doubt after a medicine reaction made me nearly pass out for a moment a few weeks ago. It passed quickly, but nonetheless, I was forced to be carried through the facility on a stretcher despite my constant pleas that I was quite capable of walking.

But merciful God, thank you for that toilet brush.  This is a silly story, though every word of it is true.  And honestly, it reveals a vanity in me, which though common, is no less a vanity.  But I am thankful for the small mercy.

One thing is certain: toilet brushes have now become a symbol of God's grace and provision.  I'll never look at them the same way again.