Unattached

Two nights ago around midnight as it was getting very cold (for this part of Florida), and I was about to go to bed, I asked God to tell me what he wanted of me in that moment. I listened quietly for some time and heard nothing. So I went to bed. As I was getting into bed and already feeling the drag of sleep , I thanked him for the warmth and safety I was enjoying and prayed that he would help the homeless that would be enduring such a cold night.

That was when he woke me up...literally quickened me and said, "Go give them blankets." He showed me an image of exactly where to go...a homeless camp near here. I thought it was just my own thoughts at first, but then remembered that I had promised not to ignore his voice. So I asked him if that was what he wanted me to do. He said yes. I said, "right now?" He said yes. I said, "really?" He said yes. This debate went on for a minute or two as I weighed it out and doubted and rationalized. I thought, "I'll make a point to deliver some blankets to a shelter in the morning." That's when my heart started racing. I literally felt it speed up slowly until I was wide awake and it was clear that he meant that instant and I would not sleep unless I forcibly quenched his prompting.

So I got up, got dressed, pulled some blankets out of the closet, wrote a note for my sleeping wife in case she woke up and found me gone, and left for the spot I had seen. As I was leaving, I was excited by the hope that I was about to see God move in a miraculous way. I might walk up on a huddled man or two and offer them these blankets. I might find someone sleeping and shivering and who knew what else might happen!

When I got there it was dark and silent and I didn't see anyone near the exhaust from ice machines or moving off in the woods at the edge of the camp. No lights, no fires, no sounds. I steeled myself and walked over to the edge of the camp which is across a field at the tree line. No one was there. Not knowing what to do, I left to look for some other spots. Perhaps they were all off getting warm somewhere.

I drove to a couple of other nearby camps and found no one. So I passed by the church that feeds and aids them. No activity. So I drove by the 24hour Big Box thinking they must be there to take advantage of the warmth. But I didn't see anyone outside and couldn't carry blankets in and dump them on someone. So I drove back to the spot God had showed me and sat for a minute asking, "now what?" All was silent. So I finally walked over to the camp and left the blankets on the couch. Then went home to sleep.

The next morning proceeded like any other. I didn't see any activity in the frosty camp as I drove by (content to drive instead of bike on that cold day.) Today I drove by and saw someone walking out of the camp. So I know it isn't deserted. I wish I could say he had my blanket with him. Maybe he did, but I couldn't see it. And that's all there is to tell.

As anticlimactic as it may seem, I was reminded of some recent advice I read about living free. It said that we should live unattached to the outcome of what God tells us to do. This way, we obey and leave results up to him. In this perfect release, we are most free to live in his provision moment by moment. Approaching each happening in expectation of what God has for us and in contentment that we do not have to organize, arrange, and plan.

Authority and Submission

Wow, this could be a big topic. But I'll try to keep to the point. I have a huge problem with authority. I much more naturally go for the DIY. The thing is, I'm not afraid to do the work myself so that I don't have to rely on the authority alone. Call it a Berean thing. I'm just not going to take your word for it.

But there are some things we can't work out on our own. Some things we just can't know...at least not now, given the knowledge and experience we have at the moment. And there are some things that we have to take on authority. The key to authority though, is trust. That's why I have a problem with human authority. People are fallible. Sometimes we are forced to accept human authority, and I can do this. I don't like beating my head against the wall.

But then there's God's authority and that is a whole different animal. Today, I heard someone talking on the radio about this very thing. In this case there is no fallibility. His authority is not conferred, and therefore can't be questioned. It is what it is. A good deal of being a Christian is coming to understand just how true this is. As the teacher was saying on the radio, how many of us only want to recognize the nice Jesus. Few of us ever want to think about the Lord of lords Jesus. The Captain of the Host. The Master of the elements. The one before whom even rebellious demons bow and obey. Even if we acknowledge this God, we don't often think of what that means for us. This same fierce magnanimous absolute Ruler is our very Ruler. Our Master. This is what being a Christian means. We have enlisted. Accepted that role. Taken our place under His authority. Submitted. So when He tells us to go, we should go. When He tells us to wait, we should wait. And when He tells us to trust, or change, or endure so we should. Regardless of feeling, regardless of ability. When that very same power and authority that spun the universe into motion and knows the path of every quark and particle, the one that routs armies and defeats death, turns His eye on us, how much more should we comply like plastic putty to His will! Especially when that same mouth that erupts flaming power and thunder bends low to kiss us gently and those blazing hands stroke our head lovingly.

In the love and devotion that we feel for our Lover let us never forget that this same is Brighter than any star, hotter than any flame, sharper than any sword, fiercer than any warrior, and is capable of obliterating us as if we never were with the merest inkling. Thank God, His love is as deep as His power is absolute. Fear it, embrace it, tremble in it, and submit to it. In this undoing of the self before such devastating power we are remade in the form that He wishes us to take. Abandon to it and find all that was missing! When He commands my soul, even I can't stand in my way.