Light of Mind

I recently had the opportunity to watch an old Japanese animated series that I haven't seen in awhile. It's one of those deep, classic ones from the 'golden age' when there was money and creative freedom enough to produce some very artistic and sometimes controversial works. Every time I see this one, I learn something more and like rereading a good book, am retouched by the whole thing.

I once wrote a lengthy treatise in college about this series, so I am not going to rehash all of that work here. If you want to read that, let me know and I'll post it on worthyofpublishing.com or something. Rather, I want to explore an aspect of the series that grabbed me again.

We so often let our circumstances dictate our personality. We become what we perceive others think we are, or a reaction to it. While we need boundaries to help define us in a real sense, we must remember that our entire reality is mediated by our perception. If the lens is cloudy or flawed, the image will be as well. And we so often only see "as through a glass darkly". It is a common condition of humanity.

But perhaps it is only in pain, suffering, and difficulty that these illusions are thrown into sharp relief. Perhaps that is their main purpose...to wake us up and drive us on. In difficult circumstances we cannot stay where we are, but must move, must change. In the moment of that metanoia, we can see clearly if only for a moment. We can reset our path, go another way, repent, to use the archaic word without its religiously skewed connotation.

Here's the trick, though. If our world is a construct of our perceptions, we can truly change it simply by changing our mind. We can turn the process around and drive it within our own being so that our self is not made as a result of the world, but our world is made as a result of our self. In this set-up, the light of mind-- the seat of our soul, that space within each of us where no others should enter, is sacred and uninvaded. It exudes from the soul and fills the space around it, keeping those that would harm our being at bay.

Alas, we don't have the power to do this, even in the best strength of our own will. It will always come to some perversion. I think this is one of the messages of the series that I had missed before. "The tragedy of the project is its people. And I am one of them." Misato says.

Enter here that which is not of our world. That which is alien to us and beyond us. It can challenge us, invade us, understand us and remake us...not in a coddling, cushy process, but in blood and fire. How else could a whole world be brought down? Only in the razing of those constructs can the heart of the matter, our perceptions, be laid bare and be remade. Thus that which is evil can be used for our good. Thus in the kernel of our being, at the root, we find that we are not what we perceive, nor what others perceive, but something other that is not defined by ourselves or our circumstances. Something original. This is the source of the Light of the Soul and Mind. This is who we are.

Lion

Prior to Christmas this year and following Avatar, I was lying in bed one morning, as I often do. It was too early to get up, but I am such a poor sleeper that I spend a lot of time awake in bed. I often try to fill this time in the morning and evenings with prayer and contemplation, which are not two separate things, but very much intertwined.

Anyway, I was lying in that state between fully awake and fully asleep and rolling over the ideas expressed in Avatar, what was beautiful about it, what was True amongst the commercial stuff...see the former post for more on that. I was wondering how much of a metaphor it could be for our time and what kind of metaphor that would be. This led to thoughts about metaphors in general and how they are powerful tools. How I've spent a lot of my life looking for metaphors to express Truth precisely as I understand it. How I had never been able to find one that I could really bite into. Some have come close...but like Bono says, I still hadn't found what I was looking for. And as Jack says, it's hard to beat the rich fertile metaphors we find in the Bible. At that moment, I had a vision...or a dream...or both, call it what you will. Jesus appeared to me as a lion...as Aslan from the Narnia books. Nothing was spoken, but something was communicated. It lasted only a moment, but in that dream-time, so much transpired.

I don't know that I could fully explain what I learned and gained from the experience, but I'm not sure that I should. These things are often meant only for the one who receives them and I only chronicle it here as a reminder, a remembrance to myself more than anything, that it did occur.

Just like the Galadriel experience posted in the early entries of this blog, I was profoundly humbled, overjoyed, and ashamed of all that I am not. One thing I can communicate is known to those who have these kind of experiences. There is a profound sense of unworthiness, like being embarrassed to be flesh, acutely aware of all my flaws, every time I've failed to be what I am created to be, of the true depth of my rebellion and helplessness. Like being totally inappropriate in so many ways. Going to a state dinner directly after mowing the grass in August only approximates an aspect of what I mean. But in that very moment is a deep unbounded love. And at the very moment that I think, "I'm so unworthy."
The reply comes, "I know; I'm choosing you."

Why Aslan? Why a fictional character? It has to do with metaphors and the role the extended metaphors of Narnia and Aslan have played in me. I am convinced that Aslan is far more than a fictional character. Jack must have known this image, this face, had seen it and felt it, and then wrote about it. Truly, it is cited this way in the biographies. Good God, the power of these moments falls so flat in writing. Imagine stepping into a story and finding with every step you take that it is far truer than you ever could have imagined. This is my life. It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.

Christmas

Many things have been happening lately. Too many to blog all at once. Christmas is a very powerful time for me, for obvious reasons. I'm very happy that the popular holiday is only one day long because it leaves the full length of the event free from commercialization and that makes it much more easily absorbed.

So, in my mind it is still Christmas, though I will quickly pull down the decorations and other trappings to make room for the full significance of the time to expand and fill it. I heard a song this year about a cowboy thinking through Christmas as he sat out on the high plains with his few companions. I know that may seem trite to some people, but you must remember that cowboys are one truly American icon and a huge part of our past and present. It wasn't a cheesy song in style, but very pensive and peaceful. The idea being none of the trappings that we associate with the holiday were present for this person and his friends. Therefore the full weight of the moment was overpoweringly present to them...much like the shepherds at the original event. There are many similarities to the lifestyle. If you've never taken time to exist in such a simple isolated manner, it is well worth it. That's why cowboys tend to be so philosophical and contemplative. I imagine shepherds must have been similar.

I would love to have a Christmas without gifts. Or perhaps only giving things that one already has. This would greatly change the character of the giving and make it a more personal thing. Sadly, this is pert near sacrilegious to most people, even Christians. I even have some family members that simply refuse to comply when everyone agrees to limit gifts. They don't do this to show off or embarrass anyone, but simply because the gifts and the holiday are so intertwined for them that they can't be separated. For these people, it is truly a joy to give and they truly expect nothing in return, all of which is greatly to their credit... I'm just illustrating the point.

I also took the time to read A Christmas Carol this year. It's a short book. I just never picked it up. I've seen the dozens of movies, but there's nothing like the source. Actually, the movies are extremely close to the source. It almost reads like a screenplay. I may have to read more Dickens. I've never been able to get into him. He's too close to that stodgy Victorian/Edwardian era that I couldn't stand it. If life was really like that, I'd run screaming mad. All artificial rules and hierarchies. Thankfully, Dickens was one of those who was trying to do away with that attitude. Maybe now I could actually get into it.

Anyway, I hope the few of you who actually read this are having a good Christmas and that you will let the full meaning and impact of the holiday settle upon you. Even if you don't believe it, try looking at it from the inside. There is no harm in seeing it from another's perspective. Just imagine what it would mean in the context that I see it:

A world that that was hopelessly lost with no chance of change or improvement on every level, despite monumental individual and cultural best attempts, all eventually succumbs to decay and corruption.

But one rural pastoral people, small in number and barely a blip on the cultural radar of the world, turns out to have the mythology that was chosen to be made true and the multi-dimensional being known as, "That Than Which Nothing Greater Can Be Conceived", the Yahweh, the Wakantanka, the Brahman, the Logos, the Ideal, voluntarily and permanently sheds dimension after dimension of his nature in the Great Dive, down, down, to assimilate himself into this lost world and all its individuals, every dimension of it, and in so doing assimilate it into himself so that the lost world and each of its damned inhabitants become a new form of existence, new beings...the merger of the human and the divine, which had never been done in the universe and can never be undone or done again. This is the root of the Christian mythos and all the cliched jargon that surrounds it. This is what we celebrate at Christmas.

Avatar

I saw the new movie Avatar this morning. Wow. This blog is about Contemplation, and those of us who practice it have a tendency to find deep connections and meanings in the most everyday sorts of things. So, pop culture is as rich a trove as ancient books.

Avatar is destined to be one of those gems. No doubt it will take it's place alongside LOTR, the Matrix, and Star Wars. Not only for the ground-breaking movie-making, but for the rich story and the boundless new world it has created. I'm sure there will be fans and games and all the customary goofiness to go with it, but amongst it all is a deep resonating truth.

Perhaps best of all for me was that the movie didn't attempt to explain everything. It created a world nearly as full of history and life as Middle Earth and set the story against it. But the whole time I kept feelinglike there was so much I just didn't know yet. Just like Middle Earth's ruins and dialects are full of well-crafted backstory, if only in the imagination of the creator, so is Pandora and the Na'vi. They didn't bother to explain every detail, and becasue of it, I'm sure the fans will gladly take the leaps and develop the world into something far bigger than it started out. It will become an alternate universe of it's own.

As an Environmental Scientist, I also have a certain way of viewing the world just like any professional develops. In that right, it is easy to disappoint me in movies because of simple flaws. For example, Reign of Fire, which had potential to be an excellent world fell short in that dragons burned wholesome food to make into far less valuable ash, which they ate...Not ecologically possible. Better to make them full-on magic creatures than try to scientificize them and do it poorly. But Pandora did not disappoint. From the design of the creatures, to the plant life and even the more mystic elements. This treads the lines enough to be fantastic but without violating any of the veils necessary to suspend disbelief. In short, I bought it.

The story, while certainly applicable to many current events, and certainly full of homage to great works in the past, has a philosophy and a truth that I am still absorbing and processing, applying to my worlds. Without this, it would simply be a good movie. But with it, it has power. It can change people. Affect them. I am not naive enough to think a movie will revolutionize the world, but just as the Matrix has already entered popular thought in ways that many don't even realize, Avatar will do so, I believe. At least it has already for me and likely will for those who think along my lines.

It's too early for me to express it just yet. But it has grabbed my imagination and the webs are forming. Go see it and let's talk about it.

Faith

I have been reading Martin Luther...finally. How much we miss by not diving and slowly swimming through these deep seas that support our small lakes of circumstance and experience. Waters upon waters. I know how this works, being an environmetnal scientist. A natural column of water is not uniform, but changes as one descends. Deep oceans can even harbor unique ecosystems in various levels with minimal interaction between levels.

Anyway, I am constantly struck by points which force me to stop and consider more thoroughly. The most recent is faith. I have often considered this. What is faith? The answer is as usual, so simple it elludes us. I have even done a thorough study of every instance of the word in the Gospels and it bears this out.

So now, so simple, and yet another dimension has occured to me from Luther. What is faith? It is simple trust. Trust in the sense of confidence. Even in the financial, business sense. Luther tells me that faith is thus:

The law, precepts, are provided to convict. They are so strict that no one can comply. We often dumb them down to a manageable level through interpretation because we recognize the futility of accomplishing them. All covet. All hate. All dishonor. All lust. None of us can help ourselves. And the law is clear that no violation will escape. No sliding scale. It is final. Therefore, the law does not provide a means of salvation or hope, but of condemnation and despair. If we honestly look at the extensive detail of the precepts and compare our lives, we are quite frankly screwed. What to do? We cannot help ourselves. Sentence is passed, effective date is set. Upon death, the sentence takes effect.

So into that world steps someone who says, "I fulfill the requirements of the law and you are pardoned." But are we? Who is this person? By what authority does he speak? We can weigh the evidence, and it is substantial. But we can't step over the sentence date to verify. Ultimately, we will be faced with the choice. Is this accurate? Do I trust this person to (1) have the authority/means, (2) to follow through with the promise. What else can I do. I cannot save myself, but if I will trust that this person can and will do as he says, I am free. I won't know until after the reprieve.

This is faith. Those with little of it may find themselves freed, but only after a life of despair and fear; escaping as one through the flames. But those who take their benefactor at his word find that he is increasingly proven to be true.

As I type, hundreds of references and connections are racing through my mind like Paul Atreides watching the lines of destiny and time. This fits incredibly well with what Paul, and Peter, and Jesus, and the entire Bible say.

Why like this? So that all begins and ends with God himself. There is nothing for us to do, but comply. I wager that the entire universe and human history is one big conglomeration of metaphors designed to rectify the one sin...the only real root of all sin...the unholy "I"...pride.

Check my accounts. I invite you to point out where I may be wrong. Truth is refined through debate and criticism. Just approach it honestly.

Space & Silence

I just finished watching a promotional video and reading the website for Virgin Galactic. This is a company created by Richard Branson of the Virgin brand. Today they unveiled their second generation commercial spacecraft. The spaceport and runway are under construction. Everything done to the Greenest specs. Reservations are being taken now. The promotions are impressive. This is not an airline, so much as an adventure tour designed to make a reality of what Epcot and many others have dreamed of. The current price is $200,000 for a flight with a $20,000 refundable deposit. Still out of range for most people, which will give it time before it becomes a bus for a villanous rabble of crowded seats and bad service. Right now it is clean and pure.

Looking it over and reading the material, I am struck by the intense emotions it stirs in me. It is this sort of thing that keeps me in the Bright Green camp. A vision of a beautiful merger of human ingenuity, poetry, science, and nature. Humans at their best, which is pitiful rare and less than is necessary. We cannot save ourselves, but the divine spark is in us. We are not all bad.

Thinking of the otherworldliness of such an experience, reading the descriptions from the test runs, it will be a world of experiences pressed together. The expectation, the intensity, the release, and the compression back into the everyday. I have often looked for good descriptions of what it is like to experience space. To live outside of our realm. I am struck by the silence that they describe. As the rocket engines cease, there will be utter silence it says, surrounded by sublime otherworldy visual beauty and the experience of no weight pulling against ones muscles and bones, the loss of up and down.

Space is silent. If God is "up" in our conception, then this is His realm. Amazing that the metaphor extends so well into an experience the writers of those metaphors could never have known. God dwells in silence. In perfect peace. Be still and know... Our senses fail and cannot fully appreciate what it is to be in that mode. But it is attractive. Once it repelled me, but it has drawn me in as I have glimpsed pieces of it.

I am not wholly ignorant of it. I have often sought out these kinds of otherworldy experiences. I am reminded of free-diving. The stillness, the cold, the quiet, the loss of up and down, the beauty. I wonder if in space, I would hear my heart beat as clearly as I do under water?

I have taken a deep breath (the expectation) and plunged head first into the blue deep (the intensity). No air, so sounds are perverted, and ultimately stilled, though those that persist are long and distant. The rhythm of my lungs, my constant accompaniment, is stilled and the pulse of the liquid within me replaces it, slowing, slowing, as I hang between planes(the release). Up or down, right or left have no meaning save in relation to my own body. The zen masters were right. The center of the universe is 6 centimeters below my navel. Strange shapes move about me, sleek and fast. Eyeing me and ignoring me. I am insignificant here. And as my body undergoes the mammalian reflex and shadowy webs begin to obscure my vision I am at perfect peace. Just then, I am keenly aware that I am not at all alone. There is a presence pervading this place, pervading me, dwelling here. And it jolts me. My vision recovers, I look for the glimmer and glide toward it. My chest expands with some invisible substance (the recompression) and then I burst back into my world with a deep inhalation.

In some ways this seems the same as the description of space. In other ways it is different. But in both, God dwells, depths and heights. He inhabits these worlds that are not for us. It is sublime.

Real

What does it mean to be real? The term was popular a few years ago: keep it real, be real, get real...they've all been used. But what does it mean? I guess in its basic sense it has to do with genuineness. No pretense. That carries with it a tone of simplicity, of singleness. And also focus on what is important.

I want to be real. I want to know what is real. I want to live life in its realest, purest form. I want to be ever moving toward greater perfection, greater reality.

So what is real and which direction is more real in my circumstances right now? I want real connections with people. I want to share my life with people. I have this with my family, but I want it in a larger circle. A band, a group, a tribe, stripped of its wierdo connotations. A group of like-minded people to be a part of each other's lives.

What would that like-mindedness center on? Simple reality I think. I have no expectations other than to make our lives better by the synergy of our relation. In other words, to be true friends. To raise our kids together, to share our struggles and joys. I don't mean in any kind of pie-in-the-sky hippie way. Just in a real, genuine, organic, unforced, unartificial, undictated way. No programs, or rules, just people living who get me and I get. A group where our differences make us stronger because they play together instead of against each other. A place where wounds can heal and bonds can grow strong and unbreakable.

This is possible. It is emphactically and empirically possible in our very existing world. Many people already have these kinds of relationships. When is it my turn? When is it yours?