Lion

Prior to Christmas this year and following Avatar, I was lying in bed one morning, as I often do. It was too early to get up, but I am such a poor sleeper that I spend a lot of time awake in bed. I often try to fill this time in the morning and evenings with prayer and contemplation, which are not two separate things, but very much intertwined.

Anyway, I was lying in that state between fully awake and fully asleep and rolling over the ideas expressed in Avatar, what was beautiful about it, what was True amongst the commercial stuff...see the former post for more on that. I was wondering how much of a metaphor it could be for our time and what kind of metaphor that would be. This led to thoughts about metaphors in general and how they are powerful tools. How I've spent a lot of my life looking for metaphors to express Truth precisely as I understand it. How I had never been able to find one that I could really bite into. Some have come close...but like Bono says, I still hadn't found what I was looking for. And as Jack says, it's hard to beat the rich fertile metaphors we find in the Bible. At that moment, I had a vision...or a dream...or both, call it what you will. Jesus appeared to me as a lion...as Aslan from the Narnia books. Nothing was spoken, but something was communicated. It lasted only a moment, but in that dream-time, so much transpired.

I don't know that I could fully explain what I learned and gained from the experience, but I'm not sure that I should. These things are often meant only for the one who receives them and I only chronicle it here as a reminder, a remembrance to myself more than anything, that it did occur.

Just like the Galadriel experience posted in the early entries of this blog, I was profoundly humbled, overjoyed, and ashamed of all that I am not. One thing I can communicate is known to those who have these kind of experiences. There is a profound sense of unworthiness, like being embarrassed to be flesh, acutely aware of all my flaws, every time I've failed to be what I am created to be, of the true depth of my rebellion and helplessness. Like being totally inappropriate in so many ways. Going to a state dinner directly after mowing the grass in August only approximates an aspect of what I mean. But in that very moment is a deep unbounded love. And at the very moment that I think, "I'm so unworthy."
The reply comes, "I know; I'm choosing you."

Why Aslan? Why a fictional character? It has to do with metaphors and the role the extended metaphors of Narnia and Aslan have played in me. I am convinced that Aslan is far more than a fictional character. Jack must have known this image, this face, had seen it and felt it, and then wrote about it. Truly, it is cited this way in the biographies. Good God, the power of these moments falls so flat in writing. Imagine stepping into a story and finding with every step you take that it is far truer than you ever could have imagined. This is my life. It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.