Run

Today I ran.  I run nearly every Friday.  Just me.  In the woods.  No shirt, low tech minimal shoes.  I don't run alone though.  God runs with me.  I can feel the Spirit Lord rush behind me, through me, over me.  Meet me at a bend, whisper to me, shout to me.  I follow his voice.  I run until he stops me.  Sometimes I run fast and hard. Sometimes I run slow.  Sometimes I pause.  Sometimes I am dropped on my butt in awe.

I don't just run.  I also climb, jump, balance, swing.  I am the animal I was made.  I am in tune with my ancestors.  I can feel their joy in me.  I interact with the real world.  Today I ran with deer.  Bounding around me along the trail.  I have argued with hogs.  I have followed raccoons.  I have petted armadillos.  I am becoming less a threat to them and more a part of their world.

I learn too.  Today, I vaulted the table again.  Twice.  I had been hampered by my own mind since falling hard several months ago.  I knew I could do it, but couldn't manage it.  Today I did it.  It was awkward, but successful.

I also ran up a new tree.  Four steps, nearly vertical, no hands.  I have tried many times.  This was the first.  I ran and ran.  I got two steps.  The next time I ran harder and got three steps.  But still not high enough.  Today, I got nearly there.  Then I decided to stop climbing and run the whole way.  The realization settled on me and I felt the flow engage as I focused hard on the first foot plant.  Then lifted my eyes to the end goal and I was soaring into it.  Beyond it actually.  It will only get easier from here.

It was the same with the side jumps.  Jump horizontally from one vertical surface to another.  I could manage one side and then slowly learned to land the other.  Now I can jump from one tree to another and continue forward motion.

This is the physical manifestation of my spiritual discipline.  In this practice, I am healed and made whole, even as my body aches.  Even the rips and tears in my skin, the bruises, the sore muscles are healing.  They are part of the warrior.  I am a man and need to feel physical pain to be wholly who I am made to be.  It confirms I exist and that I can survive.

I am this thing called man.  Half spiritual, half physical, ruler of the natural world, heir to the heavens.  When I run, all is merged into one whole and it is good.

Parkour

I had mentioned this in an earlier post, just offhand. But I thought it noteworthy that at that time, I actually did start practicing Parkour. I researched it fully, like most things, to see what I was getting into and found that it was a whole world, so much more appropriate for me than I thought. I am constantly amazed when I feel that I am pressing through the dense jungle and finally break out into a clearing, only to find, it is inhabited by man other wanderers who came in by their own paths. I had tried martial arts. I had been intrigued by the whole-being aspect, particularly, aikido. But I was put off by the phony pomp and order. Why do I need those floppy black pants? Sweats work just as well, and when will I ever walk around in hakama anyway? Better to train as I will live! and the master-student paradigm put me off. There are many bad masters. Finally, was the cost. Granted, people need to make a living, but I feel these things should be accessible. So many schools are so costly! But in Parkour, I have found all the aspects I craved without the negatives. And even a few new aspects that fit me so well.

So what is Parkour? I get that all the time when I mention it to people. And I am far from expert. But this is what I have discovered. It was started about 20 years ago by David Belle in France. It takes the principles of the Natural Method of physical training and Hebertism, which use natural human movements to create a lithe physicality similar to what develops in native tribal people. You might have seen this physical training style in military commando training, obstacle courses, etc.

Parkour uses these principles of physical training, combined with a philosophy of freedom, (freedom of movement, expression, of thought) to create a discipline that functions very much like a martial art. In keeping with its philosophy and hiphop/punk roots, there are no masters, there are no ranks. It requires no equipment...in fact the less the better, some even shed shoes. It is an individual discipline, though people often practice in groups. The discipline was further refined when it started gaining popularity. As with any new sport, styles began to diverge as people put their own emphasis and spin on it. Soon merchandising became involved and there was talk of officializing the sport, much like skateboarding and snowboarding. That was when David Belle and other practitioners made a conscious distinction between Parkour and other schools, now known as Free-running, L'art du Deplacement, and others.

Parkour is about efficient movement. Traceurs, as practitioners are called, focus on moving efficiently, so as to gain ground toward or away from someone. They strive for personal improvement and freedom. Strive to overcome obstacles in every area of their life. And they must use their skills to aid others by helping to train others or by using them in real rescue situations. There are no formal schools. There are no leagues. There are no official anythings. We learn from each other, using the internet and personal contact. It is a whole-being discipline. There's nothing wrong with doing tricks and acrobatics. They can be incorporated into someone's style, but they are not Parkour.

Experientially, I have found this gruelling. My body has changed and muscles have begun developing in places that I didn't know they could. The workouts are not formalized. It's more like playing. A lot of it is about conquering my own mind, my own inhibitions. Everywhere becomes an opportunity for training. Best of all, I love the flow. I love the freedom of moving and feeling my mind focus in crystal clarity as my muscles work in precision. I love being able to find myself hitting a ten foot ceiling when I jump, running up and over a 10 foot wall, climbing a rope that seemed insurmountable. Even traversing a 10 foot high beam!

I have largely been in the conditioning phases so far. I mean that I physically couldn't do many of the required movements. But now I am slowly starting to discover the flow, the combinations. I'm not leaping across buildings and scaling rock faces, but this is a personal progression. One can start where one is and move forward.

Parkour has struck many chords in me and I feel that I have found a discipline that I will pursue all my life. Who knew that while I was dreaming of Tarzan and unable to abide unnecessary rules and orders, hating the money-making machine that absorbs and runs everything, loving wild raucous music, and studying natural philosophy, that there were others moving toward that same place. I am a Traceur, even if only an infant.

Fasting

What a topic. I'm beginning to understand that this may have been way over-spiritualized. In the basic sense it means simply going without food. From there, it has branched and diverged into a thousand types of fasts and purposes.

I admittedly do not understand this discipline well at all. What I do understand is that it can be used for health, to save money or resources so they can be shared with those who don't have them, or to humble oneself before God when facing a particularly troubling problem.

Once on Richard Foster's advice, I tried to incorporate it into my weekly routine by skipping two meals in a row, one day a week, but ended up passing out one afternoon. I also tried it once as a sort of purification before what we expected to be a particularly difficult prayer of liberation for someone, but it turned out that the initiator of the whole business decided not to do it at the last minute and only I ended up meeting with the person to have a what turned out to be a very normal conversation.

Just recently, my church asked us to join a 21 day fast that is being promoted all over. I'm totally unclear about why we are doing this. I looked it up and found nothing helpful. So I looked up some general stuff on fasting and found instructions, but nothing particularly helpful about the ins and outs, whys and wherefores. So I committed to drink only water, to cut out some entertainment, and to closely monitor my speech to avoid frivolous talk. The talk is extremely difficult to accomplish since I communicate for business...much of communication occurs in the "small talk", so it can't be avoided in my context. Then my cousin of 17 died in a car wreck and I couldn't possibly avoid small talk and jovial speech around the family...this is not frivolous in my mind. Not to mention, I tend to be pretty witty by nature and find myself expressing affection and mood through speech. So that went out the window.

That leaves the entertainment, which I have had no trouble with at all, so what is the sacrifice? And the water, which is driving me crazy, simply because I can't have a glass of juice or tea once or so a day. I already drink mostly water! I've been trying to pray about it, and basically I feel like I am doing this for all the wrong reasons. I even resolved to give it up and had a glass of juice following the funeral, but then felt that I should stick to my commitment, so went back on it. I have a week to go. I can't see the point. I don't appear to be getting anything valuable from this.

So, unless this next week brings some grand revelation, I think I have learned this: Fasting should involve food, that is the simple meaning of it. It isn't required of those with dietary or health issues, so I may be exempt on those grounds (remember the passing out thing). Fasting is of no value unless you know why you are doing it. It should only be done when I feel the personal urging of God to do so...in the case of a spiritual fast.

Lastly, I am one of the least luxuriant people I know. The attitude fasting is of little benefit, since I have already stripped away many vanities and unnecessary lifestyle aspects. The only place to go from here is into plain asceticism, which has almost killed me in the past. I am prone to venture too far onto the plain of the tough-minded. To the contrary, I think this should be a very personal walk, not the same prescription for everyone. For me, I feel that I am being shown how to allow myself some pleasure and enjoy the bounty that I have been given, instead of feeling guilty for it.

At risk of sounding haughty, though you can see that is not my intent if you come at it from my point of view, I feel like a monk being led out of the abbey. It is tough to have such severe mental attitudes in a culture that barely engages the ideas let alone understands them. I know that I must relax and that I am allowed to be.

Brother Lawrence, pray for me, I am inflicting myself and need to know grace more. Or am I so self-deceived...no, the yoke should be easy, the burden light. Perhaps it is not more discipline that I need after all.