I have one wish for Christmas. Stop celebrating it please! Every year the US fires up this billion dollar industry that spans 3 or 4 months. There are tons of traditions and ideas and novelties. There are countless TV specials all talking about wishes and meanings.
But you know what, it's a really simple holiday. It's really of no significance at all to anyone who isn't a Christian. But for Christians, like me, this is one of the two most important memorials of the year. But it isn't about snow, or lights, or gifts, or sharing, or a warm community feeling, or a dog finding his way home or some old man reuniting with his son. And it definitely has nothing to do with stupid cheap cups. It's a memorial of what we believe to be a pivotal moment in history. The event where THE GOD takes on human flesh. But if you don't beleive this, it's just the birth of some ancient guy, so why do you need to make such a fuss over it?
If you want to celebrate a mid-winter holiday, go right ahead! Just stop trying to coopt my Holy Day. What would you think if someone decided to have a barbecued pig for Ramadan? Or a kegger for Passover? Or ate all the food on the butsudan at Obon and covered it with cheap plastic balls? So why is it ok to trash this Christian holiday?
The answer probably has to do with so-called Christians themselves. Many don't understand the day either. Or have grown up in the midst of all the other crap so they actually associate all that with Christmas. Many I know may include some Bible reading or church service as the obligatory tradition, and then go right on with any other cultural event of the season. But they'll be hot to make sure you leave Christ in there!
Once again, I'm not knocking those events in themselves. I'm just saying that isn't Christmas! So just stop calling it that. Keep Santa Claus and snowflakes and trees and presents. Just don't keep Christ with that mess! Better to drop it altogether. If you did, I might actually be able to find some of it fun. But as it is, it's a season of painful disrespect of the single most important part of my life.
Leave Christmas for those of us who hold this to be a serious part of our lives to keep as we should.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Other Side
I'm pretty sure I've never blogged about this. At least not in any discernibly direct way. But I'm going to give it a shot. This blog is primarily a way for me to process thoughts or feelings. As such, it tends toward the confusing and angry, occasionally the mystical. But that of course is not all I experience. It's just that times of clear understanding or emotion don't need processing; they're just experienced. So I don't write about them. This other side makes up a significant portion of the contemplative Christian experience, at least for me and for many I read about and talk to. It's hard to describe, so I'm going to muddle on.
Right now, I'm coming off a brief mild illness. Just a cold. But it follows a stressful period and I have received it gratefully as an excuse to rest. I've been overwhelmed by a sense of peace in it. Just a deep soul-whisper of "thank you" for bringing me into the rest I could not give myself. Throughout it I've felt at ease. I've felt cared for. The back of my mind has been haunted by strains of music of a gentle love toward me and from me toward my God.
Please know that for me, this word 'God' is loaded very differently than most may use it. It's like the deepest self-giving love you may feel for a loved one, combined with an awe or respect given a hero or excellent father, and a sublime (look this word up) reverence as if looking into something huge and vast and powerful, yet gorgeously beautiful. There is nothing of punishment, nothing of justice.
Jody Foster echoes it in Contact when she cries in the fetal position in her journey. CS Lewis describes it in the Pevensie children burying their faces in Aslan's mane. It is a safety and a rightness found because of the power sheathed in gentleness, like a small Tarzan baby sound asleep in a gorilla's arms.
This is not why I became a Christian, but it is why I stay a Christian. This is why I can't accept any form of Christianity that takes away from this. This is irresistible love. This is looking into the dark chasm of the universe and finding everything you've secretly hoped for and never even admitted to yourself looking right back at you and smiling with a face that is more human than your own.
Right now, I'm coming off a brief mild illness. Just a cold. But it follows a stressful period and I have received it gratefully as an excuse to rest. I've been overwhelmed by a sense of peace in it. Just a deep soul-whisper of "thank you" for bringing me into the rest I could not give myself. Throughout it I've felt at ease. I've felt cared for. The back of my mind has been haunted by strains of music of a gentle love toward me and from me toward my God.
Please know that for me, this word 'God' is loaded very differently than most may use it. It's like the deepest self-giving love you may feel for a loved one, combined with an awe or respect given a hero or excellent father, and a sublime (look this word up) reverence as if looking into something huge and vast and powerful, yet gorgeously beautiful. There is nothing of punishment, nothing of justice.
Jody Foster echoes it in Contact when she cries in the fetal position in her journey. CS Lewis describes it in the Pevensie children burying their faces in Aslan's mane. It is a safety and a rightness found because of the power sheathed in gentleness, like a small Tarzan baby sound asleep in a gorilla's arms.
This is not why I became a Christian, but it is why I stay a Christian. This is why I can't accept any form of Christianity that takes away from this. This is irresistible love. This is looking into the dark chasm of the universe and finding everything you've secretly hoped for and never even admitted to yourself looking right back at you and smiling with a face that is more human than your own.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
So Broken
Someone once said to me, "Bro, you are so broken." It was in a slightly intense conversation patching up a small disagreement. So I wasn't sure if this was meant as a positive or negative statement. But the particular circumstances are not important now. What is important is that at the time my internal reaction was, "Yeah! Of course!" But not knowing how it was intended, I didn't respond at all.
Still, I haven't forgotten it because it was so direct and confusing. It's not something you hear often, even in Christian circles. But recently it came back to me due to various circumstances involving something I was reading and something I was feeling, etc.
The thing is, my reaction still hasn't changed. Yeah, of course I'm so broken. That's WHY I'm a Christian! Jesus said he came to seek and save that which was lost. The word, "lost" means literally or figuratively destroyed, dead, lost, marred, perished. He said it isn't the healthy that need a doctor but the sick. He said that all the weary and burdened should come to him. He was called the friend of drunkards and prostitutes.
It should go without saying that I follow him, seek him, hope in him exactly BECAUSE I'm so broken. I have no other hope. No other place to turn. It shouldn't be a surprise, it should be a matter of course. "Oh, there's one of those Christians...you know what they are..."
Ok then, what kind of person is Jesus not for? The only harsh words he ever spoke were to the religious, the pompous, the self-righteous, the hypocritical. Those who are unaware of or who hide their brokenness. He even turned away a man who had too much invested in his money and standing.
But I don't mean broken in some theoretical or rhetorical sense. I mean literally broken. Broken-hearted, broken-minded, emotionally spent, physically unsound. BROKEN! This is me guys. Good God, it's so frustrating to keep saying it and have no one understand. I'm not OK. I'm the depressive cutter with anger and authority issues who can't focus for more than like 10 minutes unless I'm hyper focused in which case I forget everything else. These hollow sunken eyes? They're from an autoimmunue condition which is also why I'm so skinny. What you call comfort food puts me in the hospital. I know what a gun barrel tastes like and I have to stay extra busy because if I get too idle that's when the demons start playing havoc with my senses. Which may or may not be really happening, but feels the same either way and will eventually end in me hurting myself. But I'm also a really good liar because when you try to tell people things like this they freak out in various ways, none of which are helpful. So the me you know is probably only the merest bit really me and you probably think I'm just making this stuff up for dramatic effect. And maybe I am...which would evidence a whole different set of issues, none better!
In short, I know my need for help. I know my struggles. I see my flaws. I am still in this world only because I gave up control over myself in one of the worst moments of my life. And I'm so stuck on the hope I have in him that if it's not real, if it's some delusion produced by a overwrought mental state, then there is truly no hope for me. Because I really and truly deep down believe what I'm saying.
If there is a God, then he has to be the God that Jesus talked about. The pure loving light that is all creative unchanging good. That's the only being worthy of the name God. And if Jesus is right about that, he has to be able to save me like he said he could. I can't prove it. But I'm convinced of it. If I dreamed the strong luminous presence that drives out the dark, and silences the fits and fills me with hope, and whispers good things in the back of my mind that somehow keep me getting up every morning, then I am lost. I hope in him, because I've got nothing else. Like Steve Taylor, I say, "Jesus is for losers...just like me...broken at the foot of the cross."
If you claim to hope in Jesus and aren't that way, who are you hoping in? Because we obviously don't know the same guy.
Still, I haven't forgotten it because it was so direct and confusing. It's not something you hear often, even in Christian circles. But recently it came back to me due to various circumstances involving something I was reading and something I was feeling, etc.
The thing is, my reaction still hasn't changed. Yeah, of course I'm so broken. That's WHY I'm a Christian! Jesus said he came to seek and save that which was lost. The word, "lost" means literally or figuratively destroyed, dead, lost, marred, perished. He said it isn't the healthy that need a doctor but the sick. He said that all the weary and burdened should come to him. He was called the friend of drunkards and prostitutes.
It should go without saying that I follow him, seek him, hope in him exactly BECAUSE I'm so broken. I have no other hope. No other place to turn. It shouldn't be a surprise, it should be a matter of course. "Oh, there's one of those Christians...you know what they are..."
Ok then, what kind of person is Jesus not for? The only harsh words he ever spoke were to the religious, the pompous, the self-righteous, the hypocritical. Those who are unaware of or who hide their brokenness. He even turned away a man who had too much invested in his money and standing.
But I don't mean broken in some theoretical or rhetorical sense. I mean literally broken. Broken-hearted, broken-minded, emotionally spent, physically unsound. BROKEN! This is me guys. Good God, it's so frustrating to keep saying it and have no one understand. I'm not OK. I'm the depressive cutter with anger and authority issues who can't focus for more than like 10 minutes unless I'm hyper focused in which case I forget everything else. These hollow sunken eyes? They're from an autoimmunue condition which is also why I'm so skinny. What you call comfort food puts me in the hospital. I know what a gun barrel tastes like and I have to stay extra busy because if I get too idle that's when the demons start playing havoc with my senses. Which may or may not be really happening, but feels the same either way and will eventually end in me hurting myself. But I'm also a really good liar because when you try to tell people things like this they freak out in various ways, none of which are helpful. So the me you know is probably only the merest bit really me and you probably think I'm just making this stuff up for dramatic effect. And maybe I am...which would evidence a whole different set of issues, none better!
In short, I know my need for help. I know my struggles. I see my flaws. I am still in this world only because I gave up control over myself in one of the worst moments of my life. And I'm so stuck on the hope I have in him that if it's not real, if it's some delusion produced by a overwrought mental state, then there is truly no hope for me. Because I really and truly deep down believe what I'm saying.
If there is a God, then he has to be the God that Jesus talked about. The pure loving light that is all creative unchanging good. That's the only being worthy of the name God. And if Jesus is right about that, he has to be able to save me like he said he could. I can't prove it. But I'm convinced of it. If I dreamed the strong luminous presence that drives out the dark, and silences the fits and fills me with hope, and whispers good things in the back of my mind that somehow keep me getting up every morning, then I am lost. I hope in him, because I've got nothing else. Like Steve Taylor, I say, "Jesus is for losers...just like me...broken at the foot of the cross."
If you claim to hope in Jesus and aren't that way, who are you hoping in? Because we obviously don't know the same guy.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Good Question...
My son asked a deep question recently. He asked, if God knew everything was going to go wrong with his creation, why did he let it? Some form of this question has been debated for years. The truth is no one but God knows for sure. He hasn't told us.
But when he put out this question, I felt it deserved some response. I first told him I wasn't sure. Then quickly opened my mind to God hoping he would fill it as he's done in the past when the need arises. This is what then came out of my mouth in answer. I'm surprised by it myself, because I truly tell you I have not thought this before.
Before I get to it, I need to establish a little background though or it won't make sense. First of course is that God exists. There are proofs, but I won't belabor that here. Next is that God is almighty. He can do anything and nothing can stop it. And if there's anything he can't do, it is truly impossible in the most literal sense...like cease to exist or something.
Next is that God is good. This has to be the case or he would be no God. A god perhaps, but not God. Because good is clearly better than bad. Every serious religion, minor or major, and even hardcore athiests believe this. So God can't be a lesser thing or he wouldn't be almighty.
So here we are. How could this type of God let things go so badly if he knew it was going to happen? Wouldn't it have been better not to make it all rather than make it so it could destroy itself? So there would be suffering and evil? Doesn't sound very good, does it?
But here's what came out of my mouth:
Maybe he did it to show something that has never been done before. Maybe he did it to demonstrate to the universe that he is almighty. That even a creation which owed its very existence to him, could not live apart from him, but which chose to annihilate itself...even this most evil of evils he could work out to be good in the end. That even the worst thing that could possibly happen could not stop him or thwart his goodness. He WILL save his creation. He WILL NOT allow it to be lost. Even that which is given free will to go its own way even to the point of denaturing and destroying itself...even THAT, he can and will make right. EVERY wrong will be righted.
Wow. That did not come from me, I know that. Thank God for this. Both for it being true, and for how he revealed it.
I believe more than ever that God is not what most of us have been taught. He is closer than our own thoughts, more loving than we can imagine, more powerful than we can fathom. Everything we call good is epitomized in him. If there is anything that can be trusted it is him...or he would be no God at all.
But when he put out this question, I felt it deserved some response. I first told him I wasn't sure. Then quickly opened my mind to God hoping he would fill it as he's done in the past when the need arises. This is what then came out of my mouth in answer. I'm surprised by it myself, because I truly tell you I have not thought this before.
Before I get to it, I need to establish a little background though or it won't make sense. First of course is that God exists. There are proofs, but I won't belabor that here. Next is that God is almighty. He can do anything and nothing can stop it. And if there's anything he can't do, it is truly impossible in the most literal sense...like cease to exist or something.
Next is that God is good. This has to be the case or he would be no God. A god perhaps, but not God. Because good is clearly better than bad. Every serious religion, minor or major, and even hardcore athiests believe this. So God can't be a lesser thing or he wouldn't be almighty.
So here we are. How could this type of God let things go so badly if he knew it was going to happen? Wouldn't it have been better not to make it all rather than make it so it could destroy itself? So there would be suffering and evil? Doesn't sound very good, does it?
But here's what came out of my mouth:
Maybe he did it to show something that has never been done before. Maybe he did it to demonstrate to the universe that he is almighty. That even a creation which owed its very existence to him, could not live apart from him, but which chose to annihilate itself...even this most evil of evils he could work out to be good in the end. That even the worst thing that could possibly happen could not stop him or thwart his goodness. He WILL save his creation. He WILL NOT allow it to be lost. Even that which is given free will to go its own way even to the point of denaturing and destroying itself...even THAT, he can and will make right. EVERY wrong will be righted.
Wow. That did not come from me, I know that. Thank God for this. Both for it being true, and for how he revealed it.
I believe more than ever that God is not what most of us have been taught. He is closer than our own thoughts, more loving than we can imagine, more powerful than we can fathom. Everything we call good is epitomized in him. If there is anything that can be trusted it is him...or he would be no God at all.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Practicum Part 3
I knew it would come. I think I have my resolution. It came today in what I can only describe as a moment of spiritual revelation. As usual, this will not translate into words very well. But I'm documenting it anyway.
A new person started at work this week and guess what? Yep. Not married, but I have it on good authority. It will be a hard road working amongst these rough field guys, and doubly so because he was sort of foisted on to them by a management decision. I'm pretty sure this detail of his personality hasn't, shall we say...come out.
So today as I was leaving I had a desire to reach out and be friendly, even though this person doesn't work for or with me. It was simply an offhand greeting with a little more friendliness than perhaps is typical. Simple, but a reaching out nonetheless. It stems from a desire to be Christ-like to others. Caring for widows, orphans, and foreigners.
So then on the way home it hit me that I had a desire to reach out simply because he was an outsider and I understand how that could be hard. Then from somewhere deep it flooded over me that it is wrong to create difficulty for people. Not just wrong here, but wrong in my conundrum about marriage. How could I imitate Jesus who didn't "break a bruised reed" if I was at all harsh or declarative about things I believe. I would never do anything toward this person but show them respect and kindness, regardless of their situation, so it should be the same for everyone.
It wasn't an intellectual understanding. It was less clear and more full. Full of emotion and rightness, so I knew I had my answer. Even this blog over this topic may be too much for people who don't at all understand where I'm coming from and I debated deleting these posts. But then I thought it may serve more good to leave them as they stand in case someone stuggling with a similar issue may stumble across (or be guided to) them. Perhaps it will be helpful. Or maybe it could help someone who has been mistreated understand those who have been hurtful. Plus, like Paul, if I must boast, let me boast in my failings because in them Jesus is shown to be who he is: the fullest revelation of God and the perfection of humanity.
So if my recent blogs have confused or estranged anyone in my seeming judgementalism, I sincerely apologize. I ask that you come to know me before you judge me, just as you want others to do for you. This was not about hatred or politics. It has been a true chronicle of one person's struggle to deal with a surprising reaction in myself.
While I have not at all changed my beliefs on it all, you can be certain that I will not force them upon anyone or treat anyone wrongly because of my issues, God help me.
I am a complex and growing person, just like everyone else and we all have our issues that God is perfecting in due time. I will aid this in myself and in others if I can. But it is in his hands, not mine. And where I am unsure or where my issues rub up against yours, I will try my best to not make things more difficult.
A new person started at work this week and guess what? Yep. Not married, but I have it on good authority. It will be a hard road working amongst these rough field guys, and doubly so because he was sort of foisted on to them by a management decision. I'm pretty sure this detail of his personality hasn't, shall we say...come out.
So today as I was leaving I had a desire to reach out and be friendly, even though this person doesn't work for or with me. It was simply an offhand greeting with a little more friendliness than perhaps is typical. Simple, but a reaching out nonetheless. It stems from a desire to be Christ-like to others. Caring for widows, orphans, and foreigners.
So then on the way home it hit me that I had a desire to reach out simply because he was an outsider and I understand how that could be hard. Then from somewhere deep it flooded over me that it is wrong to create difficulty for people. Not just wrong here, but wrong in my conundrum about marriage. How could I imitate Jesus who didn't "break a bruised reed" if I was at all harsh or declarative about things I believe. I would never do anything toward this person but show them respect and kindness, regardless of their situation, so it should be the same for everyone.
It wasn't an intellectual understanding. It was less clear and more full. Full of emotion and rightness, so I knew I had my answer. Even this blog over this topic may be too much for people who don't at all understand where I'm coming from and I debated deleting these posts. But then I thought it may serve more good to leave them as they stand in case someone stuggling with a similar issue may stumble across (or be guided to) them. Perhaps it will be helpful. Or maybe it could help someone who has been mistreated understand those who have been hurtful. Plus, like Paul, if I must boast, let me boast in my failings because in them Jesus is shown to be who he is: the fullest revelation of God and the perfection of humanity.
So if my recent blogs have confused or estranged anyone in my seeming judgementalism, I sincerely apologize. I ask that you come to know me before you judge me, just as you want others to do for you. This was not about hatred or politics. It has been a true chronicle of one person's struggle to deal with a surprising reaction in myself.
While I have not at all changed my beliefs on it all, you can be certain that I will not force them upon anyone or treat anyone wrongly because of my issues, God help me.
I am a complex and growing person, just like everyone else and we all have our issues that God is perfecting in due time. I will aid this in myself and in others if I can. But it is in his hands, not mine. And where I am unsure or where my issues rub up against yours, I will try my best to not make things more difficult.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Practicum Part 2
I was going to do this as a comment on the last post to keep them together, but it kept expanding of it's own will, so I decided to make it a new entry. Please read the first before this one so it makes sense.
I reread Daniel's story with Darius. I also looked up some other opinions. I don't have anything clear yet, but it seems less hazy than last night. I noted in Daniel's story that he didn't make a public stance. He simply continued doing what he was doing, regardless of the law. Similarly, in the early Christian statue salute thing, they were being asked to actively go against what they believed. In neither case were they concerned with what other people did. I'm currently not being asked to directly contradict any belief. It could come to that, but I'm not there yet.
Secondly, I don't feel a need to call out other misuse of marriage such as divorce, infidelity, or unmarried partnering. It's just this one that sticks on me for some reason. As I said before, it has nothing to do with politics, fear, or unreasonable condemnation of homosexuality. So if must be rooted in my view of marriage, which I hold in high regard, higher than many others I know.
Marriage for me is a deeply spiritual and personal giving of oneself to a relationship of three complimentary parts. That is the male protective, aggressive, providential. The female nuturing, generative, healing. And God, the spirit, vitality, goodness. It participates in some mystical way with the unity of the Father, Son, and Spirit. It is not something that can be lightly entered into nor something that can be undone. Truly, when I committed to my wife it was a permanent bond for me. I didn't go looking for a wife. It just happened. Honestly, I took this so seriously, that I didn't give myself to anyone before her, and when I did, that was what made us married. No ceremony, no law. It was the giving of my soul and body to be bound to hers.
Because of this, it hurts me when I see people throw that bond away, especially lightly. So I guess the issue is that marriage as I understand it, is not possible in a same-sex couple. It compounds the wrong. Not only is there sexual confusion, now there's relational confusion. But I don't feel a need to call others out about it. So I shouldn't here either.
But I am clear that I cannot accept it as valid in the same way as my marriage. can the two love each other and care for each other for a lifetime? Sure. Is there good in a committed same-sex relationship over a casual one? Yes. Can it be better than many hetero marriages? Yes again! But I firmly believe that the best highest way of things is not possible in this kind of relation and calling it a marriage just makes an inferior form seem equal to the greater. Kind of like when someone can't appreciate the difference in a fine tea and a cheap one. Or tries to replace kids with pets. Or more accurately, can't distinguish a truly saintly attitude from a selfishly motivated philanthropy. Perhaps that is what bothers me most about it. It's an attempt to steal a word from me, but then again, perhaps it is already stolen and I just haven't seen it.
So I have no clear answer on this. And perhaps I won't find one categorical right answer. Much like food sacrificed to idols in the New Testament. James said Christians should stay away from it, but Paul said as Christians, we are free from those constraints of perception to live in reality, and the fact that someone said it was consecrated to a fiction didn't change the reality.
I reread Daniel's story with Darius. I also looked up some other opinions. I don't have anything clear yet, but it seems less hazy than last night. I noted in Daniel's story that he didn't make a public stance. He simply continued doing what he was doing, regardless of the law. Similarly, in the early Christian statue salute thing, they were being asked to actively go against what they believed. In neither case were they concerned with what other people did. I'm currently not being asked to directly contradict any belief. It could come to that, but I'm not there yet.
Secondly, I don't feel a need to call out other misuse of marriage such as divorce, infidelity, or unmarried partnering. It's just this one that sticks on me for some reason. As I said before, it has nothing to do with politics, fear, or unreasonable condemnation of homosexuality. So if must be rooted in my view of marriage, which I hold in high regard, higher than many others I know.
Marriage for me is a deeply spiritual and personal giving of oneself to a relationship of three complimentary parts. That is the male protective, aggressive, providential. The female nuturing, generative, healing. And God, the spirit, vitality, goodness. It participates in some mystical way with the unity of the Father, Son, and Spirit. It is not something that can be lightly entered into nor something that can be undone. Truly, when I committed to my wife it was a permanent bond for me. I didn't go looking for a wife. It just happened. Honestly, I took this so seriously, that I didn't give myself to anyone before her, and when I did, that was what made us married. No ceremony, no law. It was the giving of my soul and body to be bound to hers.
Because of this, it hurts me when I see people throw that bond away, especially lightly. So I guess the issue is that marriage as I understand it, is not possible in a same-sex couple. It compounds the wrong. Not only is there sexual confusion, now there's relational confusion. But I don't feel a need to call others out about it. So I shouldn't here either.
But I am clear that I cannot accept it as valid in the same way as my marriage. can the two love each other and care for each other for a lifetime? Sure. Is there good in a committed same-sex relationship over a casual one? Yes. Can it be better than many hetero marriages? Yes again! But I firmly believe that the best highest way of things is not possible in this kind of relation and calling it a marriage just makes an inferior form seem equal to the greater. Kind of like when someone can't appreciate the difference in a fine tea and a cheap one. Or tries to replace kids with pets. Or more accurately, can't distinguish a truly saintly attitude from a selfishly motivated philanthropy. Perhaps that is what bothers me most about it. It's an attempt to steal a word from me, but then again, perhaps it is already stolen and I just haven't seen it.
So I have no clear answer on this. And perhaps I won't find one categorical right answer. Much like food sacrificed to idols in the New Testament. James said Christians should stay away from it, but Paul said as Christians, we are free from those constraints of perception to live in reality, and the fact that someone said it was consecrated to a fiction didn't change the reality.
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Practicum
It was going to happen sooner or later. I had no idea how I was going to respond to it and I'm finding it harder than I thought. I'm talking about same-sex marriage. So this is an attempt to sort my own thoughts. As always, it's raw, so tune out now if you're going to be offended.
By way of background, I do not ascribe to any ideas that confuse politics with sexuality or faith. I believe that people are free to make choices. Some choices are good for us, others aren't. Some are right, others aren't. Regarding homosexuality, I frankly don't want to hear about your orientation any more than I want to hear about your latest sexual exploits. I don't define people by what they do with their *&@$#. That extends to any acts.
But I am not blind. It is obviously a mark of identity for some people. I have personal friends on both sides of this line (out and proud, and discreet). But it is only one aspect of their personality. I don't define my friendships based on who is honest at work, who has been divorced, who has had sex outside of marriage, who is habitually confrontational, or who does *&^@ with %$^&. Get my point here?
But as a Christian, I do not believe it is a good choice or a healthy choice. Though, it's no different to me than cheating on a test or eating junk food. So I'm not in your face about it, ask me and I'll tell you. Otherwise, it's not an issue. (aside: some will say it is not a choice. I know the argument and don't agree for many well-thought out reasons that I don't want to go into for sake of space. I've blogged about them before, so look them up if that's your beef.)
So that said, now I am being forced to recognize it in a way I am not comfortable with. Where you were previously just Joe and Tom. Now you're Tom's husband Joe. Somehow to me, this terminology seems I am being forced to be complicit with a wrong, like Daniel being forbidden to pray to anyone but Darius. I wouldn't introduce you to my drug-addict friend Eddy or my stripper friend Pixie. That may be who they are, but I'm not defining them by it. Do you see what I mean here?
I don't even truly have a problem with same-sex people cohabitating and receiving benefits given to married couples. But to call it marriage is the problem. I'd have rather seen them take the civil part out of marriage. Abolish it before the law in favor of civil unions for all. Then marriage remains a religious or social institution that I can recognize or not as my faith and liking allow. But now the law of the land says I have to call it marriage. I can refuse and could lose a job, friendships, or worse in the future. But is this worth it? Is this the line in the sand that I go to the lions for?
Many Christians may avoid this problem by simply avoiding and cutting off any such ties. This seems the monastery approach. Just pull away from society. The other option is to go with the culture and moralize around it. But if this is something I have no Godly wiggle room on, then by doing so I am one of the lukewarm, the goats amongst the sheep, the Israelites who continually turned to foreign gods. I'd love to do one or the other, since it would save a lot of headache for me, but that's just not how I work.
So now the choice is immanent before me. For the first time, two people walked into a group that I operate and introduced themselves as wives. Ok, so what? Just ignore it and treat them like anyone else. I did, and will. I will always be respectful. But this creates a potential problem for me since I have people in that group who sit on both sides of the issue. I lead it, so I set the tone for how it works. I plan to simply not make it a thing, remain officially silent on it. But what do I do if I set up an event at one party's premises and the other party shows up? Recipe for disaster with me as the main blamed ingredient.
So I can grow a set and take the heat from whichever side or both. But I have to know where I stand to do that, even if my stance is a third one from the perceived dichotomy. I just don't know what it IS yet. And that's the problem.
All in all, I trust it will work out. I just need to walk in faith that the resolution is already planned, I just haven't gotten there yet. Thankfully, this is a relatively easy test case, since it will be far harder when, say, an employee has a same-sex spouse. Then it really hits the fan. Since I work in government, I don't have the same choices private businesses do. Do I stand my ground at that point and trust I'm acting rightly? Or do I not have to do that? What is acting rightly, even? I simply don't want to call a man the husband of another man or a woman the wife of another woman. That's all it is really. But this is no different than Daniel. Couldn't he have just prayed silently with no outward signs for a month? It's a shading of the line in both directions. Many early Christians were said to have lost their faith when they made the customary respectful gestures to the Roman god statues in a store. This seems the same thing.
I really don't know what to do yet. In my heart, I don't want to hurt anyone or drive them away from God. My life has been built on helping the unhelped. Living what I believe. Seeking the one lost sheep. Is the controversy I perceive a function of my legalistic upbringing or is there more to it? Is this issue going to be something that forces me into a much larger boldness in that it will force me to label myself far sooner? I've favored erring toward grace and letting my actions define me. How do I do that here? How do I teach my kid to do?
I respectfully refused to pray at Japanese temples, and I wouldn't build a mikoshi (portable shrine) as asked to do because it is believed to house a god. If it was simply a parade float with religious origins, that would be different. But when I asked, the first thing anyone mentioned was about the god. So I'm out. How do I bow out this time? Do I even need to? It's got me twisted up. It really has.
By way of background, I do not ascribe to any ideas that confuse politics with sexuality or faith. I believe that people are free to make choices. Some choices are good for us, others aren't. Some are right, others aren't. Regarding homosexuality, I frankly don't want to hear about your orientation any more than I want to hear about your latest sexual exploits. I don't define people by what they do with their *&@$#. That extends to any acts.
But I am not blind. It is obviously a mark of identity for some people. I have personal friends on both sides of this line (out and proud, and discreet). But it is only one aspect of their personality. I don't define my friendships based on who is honest at work, who has been divorced, who has had sex outside of marriage, who is habitually confrontational, or who does *&^@ with %$^&. Get my point here?
But as a Christian, I do not believe it is a good choice or a healthy choice. Though, it's no different to me than cheating on a test or eating junk food. So I'm not in your face about it, ask me and I'll tell you. Otherwise, it's not an issue. (aside: some will say it is not a choice. I know the argument and don't agree for many well-thought out reasons that I don't want to go into for sake of space. I've blogged about them before, so look them up if that's your beef.)
So that said, now I am being forced to recognize it in a way I am not comfortable with. Where you were previously just Joe and Tom. Now you're Tom's husband Joe. Somehow to me, this terminology seems I am being forced to be complicit with a wrong, like Daniel being forbidden to pray to anyone but Darius. I wouldn't introduce you to my drug-addict friend Eddy or my stripper friend Pixie. That may be who they are, but I'm not defining them by it. Do you see what I mean here?
I don't even truly have a problem with same-sex people cohabitating and receiving benefits given to married couples. But to call it marriage is the problem. I'd have rather seen them take the civil part out of marriage. Abolish it before the law in favor of civil unions for all. Then marriage remains a religious or social institution that I can recognize or not as my faith and liking allow. But now the law of the land says I have to call it marriage. I can refuse and could lose a job, friendships, or worse in the future. But is this worth it? Is this the line in the sand that I go to the lions for?
Many Christians may avoid this problem by simply avoiding and cutting off any such ties. This seems the monastery approach. Just pull away from society. The other option is to go with the culture and moralize around it. But if this is something I have no Godly wiggle room on, then by doing so I am one of the lukewarm, the goats amongst the sheep, the Israelites who continually turned to foreign gods. I'd love to do one or the other, since it would save a lot of headache for me, but that's just not how I work.
So now the choice is immanent before me. For the first time, two people walked into a group that I operate and introduced themselves as wives. Ok, so what? Just ignore it and treat them like anyone else. I did, and will. I will always be respectful. But this creates a potential problem for me since I have people in that group who sit on both sides of the issue. I lead it, so I set the tone for how it works. I plan to simply not make it a thing, remain officially silent on it. But what do I do if I set up an event at one party's premises and the other party shows up? Recipe for disaster with me as the main blamed ingredient.
So I can grow a set and take the heat from whichever side or both. But I have to know where I stand to do that, even if my stance is a third one from the perceived dichotomy. I just don't know what it IS yet. And that's the problem.
All in all, I trust it will work out. I just need to walk in faith that the resolution is already planned, I just haven't gotten there yet. Thankfully, this is a relatively easy test case, since it will be far harder when, say, an employee has a same-sex spouse. Then it really hits the fan. Since I work in government, I don't have the same choices private businesses do. Do I stand my ground at that point and trust I'm acting rightly? Or do I not have to do that? What is acting rightly, even? I simply don't want to call a man the husband of another man or a woman the wife of another woman. That's all it is really. But this is no different than Daniel. Couldn't he have just prayed silently with no outward signs for a month? It's a shading of the line in both directions. Many early Christians were said to have lost their faith when they made the customary respectful gestures to the Roman god statues in a store. This seems the same thing.
I really don't know what to do yet. In my heart, I don't want to hurt anyone or drive them away from God. My life has been built on helping the unhelped. Living what I believe. Seeking the one lost sheep. Is the controversy I perceive a function of my legalistic upbringing or is there more to it? Is this issue going to be something that forces me into a much larger boldness in that it will force me to label myself far sooner? I've favored erring toward grace and letting my actions define me. How do I do that here? How do I teach my kid to do?
I respectfully refused to pray at Japanese temples, and I wouldn't build a mikoshi (portable shrine) as asked to do because it is believed to house a god. If it was simply a parade float with religious origins, that would be different. But when I asked, the first thing anyone mentioned was about the god. So I'm out. How do I bow out this time? Do I even need to? It's got me twisted up. It really has.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
