Pollenation

Well in the pollen aftermath, I learned a couple of things. I think they fit into the unmodify method quite well. But I still need to have the originator explain it to me better to be sure. Verdict is still out on that one. What I did learn is that we often need simple crutches to get us over those humps of will and belief. Or rather, belief and will go hand in hand so that I must believe something for it to be true, but can't just will myself to believe it. So sometimes we need crutches...but that's such a dirty word...points of faith, let's say, to get us over those humps.

For example, I know from experience that pollen bothers me. I can accept the possibilities that it doesn't have to, that it is harmless, and that I could somehow outgrow the allergy. But my experience has been so the other way, that subconsciously and consciously, I can't just stop thinking that it will affect me...so it usually does. Maybe it would anyway, but I inadvertently close the door on other possibility...it's a fine shade of difference. But when I have something that overrides the very latent worry about the pollen, the affect of the pollen goes down...not away, but down, and medicines even work better in lower dosages.

Further, if I find something that I do believe may help, and do not do it, the concern that that thing might have helped makes the condition worse. But if I give in to that help and accept it, the condition improves. So, say, if I think I have developed a sinus infection as a secondary effect of the allergy, but do not act on it because I am not sure, the doubt/worry makes the condition worse. But if I go ahead and take steps to relieve the sinus issue or confirm that it is not an issue in this case, the symptoms improve even before treatment has had time to work.

I think this further proves the mind-body connection and is more in line with the unmodify method of health management. It truly is an experience-based thing, and not wishful thinking...at least as I understand it.

I'm not out of the woods on it yet, but the trail is becoming clearer and I am starting to feel as if I might suddenly push out into one of those clearings where I will find others who came in by different bushwhacks already enjoying the sun of this enlightenment, just as happened with Parkour.

Pollen

It's finally warmed up this year. Plants are budding out. Life is returning. It's been an extraordinarily cold year. But now the dry time has hit. We probably won't see much rain until June or July. And right now, the oak trees are blooming. All across this region, the oak trees have gone from dead brown to orange and yellow. Their shaggy flowers dispersing the yellow powder that produces acorns. There's so much of it that cars, houses, sidewalks, are stained yellow. You can actually see it blowing by in the bright light.

For many, this is a minor nuisance, but for increasing numbers this means runny noses, itchy eyes, scratchy throats. It's miserable. I am one of these for whom oak pollen is essentially toxic. I don't know why. Allergies are on the rise. More and more people are affected. I've tried everything, but nothing will really solve the problem.

Perhaps it's that more and more people are surviving childhood and that is allowing weaker genes to pass along. Where when infant mortality was higher, the weaker children didn't make it. Or perhaps, as the great Japanese animator Hayao Miyazaki suggests, it is a result of our polluting our world. Perhaps the pollen is actually becoming more toxic, or the pollution we breathe and eat and drink is weakening us so that we can't resist these allergens. I have no idea.

I do know that I have been unable to will this away. I have been unable to treat it entirely, though medicines do help. I have prayed for it to be removed from me, but God has not. So I must bear it. I keep praying, of course, for patience, for resistance, for strength, for it to go away, for rain to wash it out of the air...but ultimately, I just have to endure.

In Japan, cedar trees cause similar problems, so the government cuts them down in populated areas...another aspect of the community spirit and care for each other that is prevalent in that culture. But here, there's no chance of that...it might hurt pharmaceutical sales, which would damage our economy!

But maybe, as Miyazaki suggests, it is cleansing our world, and the toxin will cease after the world has been purified. This sort of Gaia response is not so far fetched to an ecologist. It won't be in my lifetime though. Perhaps I should live in the tundra, or the desert, or somewhere without oaks...but then, it would be another plant.

So in the end, as Easter is upon us and we contemplate the death of Jesus, it is perhaps fitting. If this is all I have to bear, I suppose it is negligible to the sufferings he endured. Even to the sufferings of many around the world today. I am weak and soft and self-centered. But I commit this, as I must do all things, to Him. He is my hope, my salvation, my comfort. May I keep perspective and accept what I cannot change. The Unmodify Method I've described in recent posts has been difficult for me in this. But I'm trying to embrace it.

Happy Easter.