Own the Pain

A friend and mentor used to say, "own the pain".  It's a phrase that struck home with me and has recently come to have an even deeper meaning.  I've expressed the idea to people before but most don't seem to get it.  Just a few minutes ago an explanation came to me that seems so much clearer.

It refers to a situation where we have been wronged or hurt.  We can react in many different ways, but most of us have a sense of justice that makes forgiveness and healing hard to do.  Even those of us who have been so beaten down as to turn inward when wounded will not be able to forgive, but will close down and bottle up.

But owning the pain is about deciding to bear the pain inflicted on you on behalf of the person who inflicted it.  It is an act of love.  It is a participation in the suffering Jesus endured for us.  Truly it is to do for another what Jesus did for us.  It is to be Jesus to the person who hurt you.

It is to stand before God and the world and say, these are MY wounds and MY pain.  To take them, as unjust as they may be, and let love overcome the hurt and damage.  It is to willingly accept the suffering without a word to the one who hurt you.  They don't need to be sorry.  They don't even need to acknowledge you are hurt.  It is to cry and ache and pray through it for them.  It is to bear on your heart and body the marks of Jesus.

It is to be Ashitaka taking San's dagger to your chest and enfolding her in your arms even as the blood runs down.  

It is to vanquish hate.

It is to stand before the Judgement Seat and say that you find no fault in that person.  To answer not that you forgive, but that there is nothing to forgive.  It is to participate in a real way in someone's salvation.