Warts and All

The phrase, "Warts and all" originated with some European noble that decided his portrait should not be 'touched up' but should show him as he really was. I guess it was common then, as now, to doctor pictures so that the subject looks his best.

The phrase has come to mean any portrayal of a person, image, word, or other, in which the subject's true form is revealed. Though we admire this on the surface in our culture, I have found that the practice is quite different.

One of my mentors always made a point of keeping himself off of the pedestal, so to speak. He occupied a position in which it was easy to end up exalted by others. To combat it, he had a policy of being very open about himself publically. I adopted the same policy since it is a very good way to eliminate pride, avoid deception (intentional or perceived), and can help others grow from my experience.

So, when the time is right...no one likes a bleeding heart...I am not shy about telling my truest evaluation of myself and my experiences. The strange thing is that as soon as I do it, people start acting all reassuring as if they need to bolster my floundering self esteem. Some even go so far as to flat deny that I am telling the truth.

There is nothing at all wrong with my self-esteem. In fact, I examine myself far more than anyone should. I know my abilities and my limitations. I know my successes and failures. And I am prone to pride, believe me, not the other way around! But I also have a keen critical eye on myself and try very hard to see the plank therein.

Why is it that people have so much trouble accepting this kind of thing? Of course it isn't everyone. Some do just fine with it. But most seem to feel a need to correct me about myself. They would prefer the touched up version. Not out and out white-washing, but a little brushing up is fine. Is it because they are afraid of having to face the truth of themselves? Afterall, if I am honest about my shortcomings, they may feel the need to be.

Again, I'm not talking about lack of tact or TMI kinds of things. We all have things that we don't and shouldn't reveal too openly. But if someone chooses to honestly, appropriately, and accurately divulge the less savory parts of their person along with the good, the very least we could do is take them at their word! Denying what they tell us or hushing over it as if it needs to be padded back under cover does nothing to help the person speaking. If we think they are missing something in their self-evaluation, better to think through what they are getting at and gently guide their thinking into better paths, or say nothing at all. To poopoo or pity may squelch the simmerings of self-discovery in them or hinder others who might be on the brink of opening up themselves.