Gender

I've been wanting to blog about this for some time and every time I can't quite get it to work. Then something else occupies my mind and I forget about it. But here goes again.

Gender is something that really defines us, but at the same time, I don't think is so static. While we are physically one or the other (and for the record I don't believe it is possible to be mentally one gender and physically another) our whole existence is not so set as we may think.

I totally believe it is possible to be very in touch with aspects that we associate with the opposite gender and still be fully healthy and fully man or woman as the case may be. For example, there are very masculine men and there are men who embody more traditionally feminine characteristics. Some men are sensitive, artistic, nurturing, emotional, etc. Some women are also aggressive, strong, competitive, protective. This doesn't necessarily make them any more or less men or women, because I don't believe each gender to be so polarized. I think that is a gross generalization that we apply to people and I believe it is unhealthy.

I think that by saying this set of characteristics define "man" and this set define "woman" lead to many of the sexual and identity issues we face in society. Where those would not be issues if people were freer to be who they were. God does not make mistakes, people do. And by pinning things down so rigidly we stack the deck against certain people who don't fit the profile.

I myself have never fit the profile, though not in the homosexual sense. Many of the traditionally male associated attributes I don't understand or like. Interestingly, my wife is the mirror image, exhibiting many traditionally male characteristics herself. Now, don't get me wrong here. This isn't some kind of twisted role reversal. I am fully man and she is fully woman. At the same time, we both embody very male and female characteristics as well, so get over that. If you know us, you understand what I mean. My wife is far more apt to watch sports or gore and less apt to talk about her feelings or thoughts than me. Though she is sweet and nurturing. I am more apt to express myself verbally and physically. Though I am fiercely protective of my family and enjoy tough physical activities.

To put it another way, we all have access to all aspects of humanity, from both genders. We are parts of one whole. I believe God designed it that way, like everything else, to represent an aspect of greater reality. God is necessarily beyond gender and exhibits the complete form, the ideal, of whatever we echo here in this world. Next to his complete masculinity every man is utterly feminine. Next to his femininity, every woman is utterly masculine.

I could go on, but it gets immensely complicated. I could blog entirely on the beauties of femininity and again on the virtues of masculinity. Suffice to say, I believe the physical aspects of gender to be entirely a part of this world. But I believe the deeper truer aspects of gender to be parts of one whole which we all echo in various degrees and combinations. Celebrate the differences. Experience and enjoy the complex interweavings of gender and leave people to be who they are out of love and respect, and because deep inside, we are not so well gendered as we might think. But don't take my word for this. Many famous Contemplatives have discovered the same thing.