Unspeakable

Sometimes I have nothing to say.  I go through cycles.  But for once I have tons of things to say and can't find words for them.

Suffice to say, the life God has for me is opening up and it is overwhelmingly more than what I would dream of.  I mean this in very literal ways.  This is why it is hard to put into words in a general context.  There is nothing general about it and I can't possibly explain the intimate and complex details that surround it.

Perhaps the Via Negativa would help.  So I will say what it is not.  It is not in my head.  It is not philosophical, affecting no real change in the material world.  It is not tied to the institutions we call church...

...Here is what I would say and the ones about whom it is written can understand it for themselves.  You are beautiful. You are so loved.  God has seen you.  He has not even once forgotten you.  I don't know the reasons for the circumstances in your life.  I am just a Sheep Dog who barely understands the Shepherd's language.  But I see what he has done for you.  I see how the universe has been ordered for your specific good.  I see you as he sees you.  You are stunning and powerful beyond compare.  My love for you is not rooted in pity nor charity, nor brotherly affection.  It is as beyond me as every good thing I have ever done.  To be near you, to guard, aid, serve, you is an honor and a pleasure.  I am elated that you would call me friend.  You have only to make a need known and I will be about meeting it with whatever is within my power.  I don't even know what that is.  But I have been charged with doing it and the resources and methods will be provided.  This is not an idle promise, as I hope you now see.  All that has been given to me is from God and for his purposes.  I hold it lightly and in common with you.

And I truly enjoy your company, your humor, your presence.  I want to be around you because I like you.  It is good for me too.  I am better for having known you.  In one sense, because doing what we are made for is fulfilling, but more so because you inspire me, comfort me, encourage me even if you don't know it.

In short, I love you.  And while nothing I can say will prove it or guarantee any moment into the future, it is true as true and every moment that I am there demonstrates it to be so.

This is the life we were called to live.  This tribal, close, familial life.  Thank you for having me into yours.  Together things will only get better.  I know it because God has shown me the ending.  Let's walk toward it together.