For Fidelity

I want to make a case for fidelity.  Most people don't really use this word in common speech, so it might not even register with clear definition for many people.  Simply put, it is the state of being faithful.  It doesn't necessarily refer to marriage, though that kind of fidelity is probably what comes to mind if anything at all.  It can also mean close reproduction, as in video or sound...remember the old hifi's?  It just means being true to whatever you have committed to.  If you translate a book, it should be done faithfully.  If you deliver a message, if you offer assistance, if you give your word.  In all of these things we should have a high degree of fidelity.

Sadly, it seems this is grossly lacking in our society.  I know far too many people who shift and blow with trends and whims and emotions.  As I believe grace to be the central concept of Christianity, I don't condemn anyone for it.  I know we all have our issues and that God works with us wherever we are.

But I for one, take fidelity very seriously.  I value it.  I can't be happy when a husband or wife or mother or father leave.  I can't be happy when they find someone new.  I can't just shrug when someone leaves their faith.  I have to root for the white knight.  Give me the Princess Bride, not Dear John.  The Four Feathers, not the Watchmen.  I know life happens and we all have to muddle through.  I know good that has worked out after all kinds of bad faith cases.  Like I said, I'm not judging anyone or setting up some sort of system.  But I also can't pretend it doesn't bother me.

I want my words to be true; I don't use them loosely.  I want my commitments to be real; I don't make them lightly.  In this broken world, there are virtuous people who mean what they say and do what they commit to.  They still exist today.  But we don't value it.  We barely speak of it.  Fidelity is a virtue we need to reclaim.

Warts and All

The phrase, "Warts and all" originated with some European noble that decided his portrait should not be 'touched up' but should show him as he really was. I guess it was common then, as now, to doctor pictures so that the subject looks his best.

The phrase has come to mean any portrayal of a person, image, word, or other, in which the subject's true form is revealed. Though we admire this on the surface in our culture, I have found that the practice is quite different.

One of my mentors always made a point of keeping himself off of the pedestal, so to speak. He occupied a position in which it was easy to end up exalted by others. To combat it, he had a policy of being very open about himself publically. I adopted the same policy since it is a very good way to eliminate pride, avoid deception (intentional or perceived), and can help others grow from my experience.

So, when the time is right...no one likes a bleeding heart...I am not shy about telling my truest evaluation of myself and my experiences. The strange thing is that as soon as I do it, people start acting all reassuring as if they need to bolster my floundering self esteem. Some even go so far as to flat deny that I am telling the truth.

There is nothing at all wrong with my self-esteem. In fact, I examine myself far more than anyone should. I know my abilities and my limitations. I know my successes and failures. And I am prone to pride, believe me, not the other way around! But I also have a keen critical eye on myself and try very hard to see the plank therein.

Why is it that people have so much trouble accepting this kind of thing? Of course it isn't everyone. Some do just fine with it. But most seem to feel a need to correct me about myself. They would prefer the touched up version. Not out and out white-washing, but a little brushing up is fine. Is it because they are afraid of having to face the truth of themselves? Afterall, if I am honest about my shortcomings, they may feel the need to be.

Again, I'm not talking about lack of tact or TMI kinds of things. We all have things that we don't and shouldn't reveal too openly. But if someone chooses to honestly, appropriately, and accurately divulge the less savory parts of their person along with the good, the very least we could do is take them at their word! Denying what they tell us or hushing over it as if it needs to be padded back under cover does nothing to help the person speaking. If we think they are missing something in their self-evaluation, better to think through what they are getting at and gently guide their thinking into better paths, or say nothing at all. To poopoo or pity may squelch the simmerings of self-discovery in them or hinder others who might be on the brink of opening up themselves.