Applied

Recently, I've been dealing with some serious decisions.  I'm not going into them specifically.  It's more about how I'm making them and facing them.

It is stretching me in some ways I hadn't noticed needed stretching.  That's when the story of Jesus and the Rich Young Ruler came to mind.  I realized this is my story right now.  I'm that guy.

The story is that a wealthy young man came up to Jesus and, calling him Teacher, asks what he has to do to receive eternal life.  Jesus says, "You know the commandments."  To which the man replies, "I've done all that since I was a kid."  Obviously not convinced this would do it for him.  Jesus looks on him with affection at this and says, "You still lack one thing (one version says, "if you would be perfect"): sell everything you own and give to the poor, so you'll have treasure in heaven, then take up your cross and follow me."  The man goes away sad at this because it says he had great wealth.

A couple things jump out to me.  One, the guy really wants to know.   He came to find Jesus and he knows keeping the rules is good, but he needs more.  Jesus realizes this and loves the guy for it.  Jesus isn't being dismissive or argumentative.  So I think he tells him what he really needs to do.  But the guy is obviously struggling with how to do it.

Here's the thing.  I'm being faced with this exact choice.  While I'm certainly not rich by American standards, I am above the median in my area and worldwide, that's in the untouchable category.  I lack nothing material.  I can afford anything I want within stretch of reason.  I'm far better off than many people around me.  But I'm faced with an opportunity that will require me to sell everything I own and leave this life.

So I know what this guy was feeling.  I have everything we're taught to strive for.  Everything we're told is a blessing.  I have a great stable job, in my field,  with lots of freedom and good benefits.  I have no debt and my kid's college is totally paid for.  I could sit back and save up, travel, do good with my money, and retire comfortably into a life where I could do the good work I want to do fulltime...of course none of this is certain, but barring unforeseen changes, it'll happen.  But here I have this choice foisted in my lap.  I have asked Jesus to make me like him.  To perfect me.  And here I have the same dang choice.  Family is on board, advisors are on board, friends are on board.  I'm just reluctant to give up this stuff, the security of material things and familiar ways.  What if I'm wrong?  What if this or that happens?  But at the root, I know what I'm worried about.

You see, I'm this guy!  Jesus has just said, "You can stay, you know the commandments, you have lived it; do that."  But I'm still not satisfied and I asked the question, half afraid of the answer...and I got the blasted answer.  If I want to be perfect, I have to sell all my possessions (or give them away) and step into this life which is no slouchy opportunity and quite an honor at my age, but potentially much less materially lucrative and less stable.  I've counted the cost.  It's not totally unknown to me.  But what if...what will I be capable of?  what kind of life will open up to me?  Maybe the life of adventure and discovery I've dreamed of.  Maybe a life of peace and goodness I never thought actually possible.  Maybe a disaster that burns away all my dross and refines me into polished folded steel, a true Glass Dog.  I'll never know if I don't go.

So here's the thing.  The story ends there.  We don't know what the guy did.  But if he is me, I can imagine he thought about it just like I am.  We are of one mind here in some mystical way, I'm sure.  I know I'm loved, that's why Jesus offered me this opportunity.  It is building that one thing I lack in me.  How much do I want it?  Will I sell everything to buy the pearl of great price, to mix in another story?  When I see it like this, this strange feeling overcomes me and from deep inside my soul jumps up and yells, "Here I am, SEND ME!"  Yes!  I want to go!  I want to do it.  I am a follower of Jesus, not in name only, but in heart and action.  I have to.  What else can I do?  I asked to get out of the boat and deuce if he didn't say, "Come."  And I'm standing here like, "Well that wasn't what I expected."  And he's saying, "Did you think I wasn't serious?  Did you think I wasn't real?  You don't have to.  Take the blue pill and all is well, I won't even mention it.  But if you want to be perfect..."

Good God, I'm coming!  Don't let me fall!  I'm about to walk on water.