Enough

OK.  Enough is enough.  Something has got to change.  Something in me.  Something in the world.  Something surrounding the world I see.

I don't have it figured out.  I don't know what it is.  I don't know how to start.  But God you won't let me stop thinking about it.

There is something missing.  It can't be filled by any made up group.  It crosses any category I place it in.  It scares me to death and yet it's totally necessary.

Take me out of myself.  I can't sort it out any more than Isaiah could describe what he saw, but You look at me with those piercing eyes and I scream, "Here I am, send me!"  Ruin my life, my self conception, my image of my self.  Only take me where I should go.

Kill what inhibits You in me.  For all my sins and flaws and insecurities, I still want to go. The metanoia is approaching.  When I have turned, fire me off in the direction I should go.

I have the skills to fill the void.  I will speak for them, give them a place and an identity.  Give me your eyes and burn up my pretense.  Help me to live true and open.  Help me to free the beast.  Send me to those who need me and bring alongside those I need, those you've prepared for this work.

There are lost ones all out there.  I have caught the scent of the ones I am to find.  I'm straining at the leash.  Let me loose and I will fly straight into the jaws of hell to bring them back.