Capitalized

Our minds are not as secure as we like to think.  No...I will phrase that personally since I don't know anything about anyone else's mind.  My mind is not as secure as I like to think.  It doesn't help to live with someone who has an uncanny and reproducible ESP.  But that isn't what I mean either.

I mean the ability for Satan (yes I wrote it finally) to use my mind against me.  I'm sure there is a deep sanctuary somewhere that no but me and God have access to...perhaps a place even I don't have access to.  But then there are the surface activities of my mind which are only slightly less public than spoken words.  These are the thoughts that are available to ESPers and other beings with the appropriate senses to perceive them.

But this is a given for me.  What brought me to this blog entry is the recent occurrence of very good objects of my thoughts being capitalized upon to make me miserable.  Of course I could just be doing this to myself, but there is no way to tell the difference so it really doesn't matter.  The fact is things which I care about are easy prey for my fears.  It doesn't take much to turn a beautiful thing into a misery of anxiety.  I have been facing this all week.

I am hoping to stop it now.  Just by recognizing it for what it is and refusing to be victim to it, I can gain ground.  I also have to focus on what is true and what is outside of my mind.  Inside is a terrible mine field of shifting unrealities.  I must focus on that which is not me.  That which exists whether I will it, know it, or understand it.

This is a great value in the structure of Christianity.  So many other religions focus inward.  But I know God as other, as beyond.  His most vivid revelation of himself was not in me, but in the physical world.  If it was in me, how could I be sure it was real?  No, I will recount facts and will trust in Him who is not me, who is other than me, yet permeates me as well.  I need to hear the voice of the real to see things as they are and to trust Him for what I can't see.  The alternative is to forever have my joys and victories usurped and capitalized upon for my undoing.

No more.