Obstinate

Very often my own life illustrates Truth to me.  Often my relationship with my child tells me many things.  Just recently, as is her bent, she was getting an attitude when I tried to talk about something important for me, but which she doesn't care about or want to think about.  Now, I realize it was over her head somewhat, but not so far that she couldn't engage with me on some level.  But instead she chose to make it as difficult to proceed as possible.  To so ruin the moment that I didn't even want to talk any more.  So was I to force the issue and win the battle of wills?  Sometimes I do, but not in this case.  So I stopped talking.

That's when it hit me: that she was treating me very much like we treat God.  I wanted to share something that was from a deep part of me.  I wanted to reveal my heart to her and to know hers and to experience the real joy of close friendship.  But she was more interested in what I could do for her and nothing more.  Don't bother her with anything else or she'll do as poor a job and make it as miserable as possible until she gets her way or hates me for forcing things.  It's a fight that truly can't be won...not really.  I can enforce my will but I can't in the least make her love me...make her want to know me.

All the blessings of clean clothes, good food, shelter, protection, entertainment that I bestow upon her are lost.  They just are what she has always known.  They don't make her love me, though of course I would not stop them...sure check them from time to time, remove luxuries when necessary to coax behavior.  Of course, I will feed her, clothe her, comfort her, protect her always, even if she doesn't acknowledge it or deserve it.  But what I really want is the open and free relationship of enjoying each other's company.

I think God wants nothing different from us.